Grandpa

How did you get so lonely

I dont know when it happened

Or when it dawned upon you

That you were alone

And you started to feel lonely

I told you to call if you need me

I didn't dare to ask more

But I knew that they didnt come to visit anymore

I side stepped the questions

Tried to ask about those that I knew did

Maybe that's when the loneliness started

I asked about breakfast

To learn even your friends had left you

The intrinsic motivation within

It keeps crying out

But I kept it shushed with practicality

But why does it feel like

I didnt know how to say no

Told myself accepting it would make him happy

Why do I feel

Feel like ivh just sinned

I told myself I would use it for him

To breathe life back in again

This I will do

But for other aspects

I dont want to over promise what I cant deliver

I don't want to make promises I will break

I dont think there's any right or wrong

But more of whats more important right now

To look on to life with the living

Or to look back

And sustain the life of the leaving

im confused

Maybe I just need to read some self help guides