What an ass

6k laptops are such a big deal! I'm sure u will be happy that u won't be getting my order since u ur servuce standards are great and u have so many laptops. I'm in such awe that u can't give me a proper answer to my question and blame it on volume, and prefer to argue with me on this Q&A board instead of checking and replying to me. Your service is amazing! Thank u for replying to me and making my day!

Well said

http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/9460662

Comforting friends. Apparently ivh been doing it all wrong.

http://greatist.com/grow/common-mistakes-when-comforting-friend?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=opengraph&utm_campaign=common-mistakes-when-comforting-friend&sr_share=facebook

Assholes

So this is why people can be Christians and still be such assholes

They are in so deep they can't even tell that they are lying to themselves, and they justify their badness with 'love from god' and that God will love them anyway

Snorts

https://blog.heartsupport.com/why-im-a-christian-and-continue-to-suck-at-being-one-5d7cb730e3a2#.1pwp88iel

Parenting

I'm reading on parenting but learning life lessons at the same time. Good read

https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/on-parenting/a-smart-outgoing-fifth-grader-is-heartbroken-because-no-one-invites-her-over/2016/10/11/ef98d112-8bf2-11e6-bf8a-3d26847eeed4_story.html

Intrinsic motivation and unspoiling kids

Key phrase to learn to say to kids: You know that’s not normal, right?

Behavioral research shows that humans can become acclimated to almost anything if they’re exposed to it frequently. It’s called “hedonic adaptation,”

What does this mean for kids and parents? Anything we provide or do regularly will become the new norm, whether it’s postgame milkshakes or a certain brand of clothes. And not doing things can also become a norm: If our kids have gotten used to having their beds made or dinner table set, they’ll come to expect that, too.

“I really think about it as ‘What’s the default that I’m setting up?’ ” says Tess Thompson, a mother of two in Webster Groves, Missouri. “My kids’ summer day camp is set up for their nonstop entertainment, so naturally they thought summer Saturdays would be, too.” Thompson had to reset their expectations. “Once the special outings weren’t every Saturday, they actually felt like treats.”

https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/on-parenting/how-to-raise-kinder-less-entitled-kids-according-to-science/2016/10/03/1a74fa3a-7525-11e6-b786-19d0cb1ed06c_story.html

Good parenting

https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/on-parenting/the-art-of-saying-no-how-to-raise-kids-to-be-polite-not-pushovers/2016/08/30/9537e5d0-696c-11e6-ba32-5a4bf5aad4fa_story.html

Self note

Simple way of explaining the concepts of rape and consent to my kids in the future

https://www.buzzfeed.com/andreborges/this-woman-wrote-a-twitter-thread-about-consent-and-its-some?bffb&utm_term=4ldqpho#4ldqpho

Ashamed

For the past night, ivh been trying to come to terms with my feelings.

It's a bad feeling, some what upset, somewhat angry, somewhat disgruntled, upset enough to feel like I should be crying, but feeling that i am silly as the matter is not big enough to actually cry over.

After thinking long and hard, I realised that I felt ashamed of my performance yesterday. I had been so over confident that I was a star performer, so arrogant that they would want me when they saw me, that I didn't take the whole application and interview seriously enough.

I was intimidated when i saw that there was a panel of 8 senior officers interviewing me. (They were all in their 40s - 50s - 60s. Heck my boss looks young next to them) I was flabagasted when one of them interrupted me mid introduction. I was horrified when one of them asked me a question I would have covered in my introduction,  I felt insulted when they were shocked that I was married. I felt belittled when they asked me why I wanted to become a HR director and I couldn't articulate an answer and the panel laughed at me, coz the interview chair said that I just wanted to direct and not be directed by others. I was shocked when the interview suddenly ended because i felt that they had given up on me. All in all, I felt ashamed by my performance, because if I had been on that interview panel, I wouldn't have hired me.

Now all I can hope for is that based on the good graces of the tampines lady whom I seem to have built a little rapport with, they take me in.

But then I'm upset with myself because I feel like I wasted my time. I should have taken the time to understand the job D better, to realise that the role of the AM is an entry level role. That they don't need 5 years of HR experience. That it is decentralised and I would not be at HQ. I feel like I wasted my own time, and I did something to skip work which does not reflect well on myself, and does not tie in with my values, as I am part of HR. (Although I genuinely am sick). I also feel that I should have realised that it wasn't that they were belittling me and the things that I did with MOE, it's just that they feel so proud of being in HDB that they feel like nothing else I do in MOE can compare. But also it seems nice coz there aren't much young guys in high pos coz they r scholar.

And all that time I spent reading up on HDB, trying to understand the culture, preparing the interview qns, stressing myself out, I'm frustrated with myself that it didn't translate into performance coz of my stupid sense of inflated ego and overconfidence that I would perform well.

This ego that was boosted when I absolutely sucked at open posting interview but somehow I got the offer.

I need to humble myself. At least i csn comfort myself that i didnt really waste 100% of my time as is was a good wake up call.

I kept asking myself, if I got the offer, would I accept. I think my answer is no? Because if I wanted to be an AM I should have gone to school I can do it. But I'm hesitant to go to school.  School can have 300 staff and only 2 AM and 1 VP. But for HDB, they have 300 staff and a team of 20 AM. That's a crazy ratio right there. Maybe I really will have more work life balance. But I'm not in HQ so I don't get to enjoy the staff benefits properly. But then again, if there is a substantial raise, I would say yes. But this would be a major deviation from my career goals. Would I look back and regret that this was a waste of time?

But then if it can put food and money on the table and it's not too stressful and I'm happy, why not.

I'm just so confused, because I realise that I don't really know what I want with my life. Do I just want to be an average Joe, go to work, come home, take my 7k paycheck, feed my few kids, or do I want to be more. I know I can't depend on my husband coz he doesn't have that kind of ambition so it's up to me. I honestly don't know. I think right now I'm just so exhausted with life, I cant make a call. I'm closing all the HDB pages that I left open as quickly as possible, I can't figure out why. Think it's to save myself from my embarrassment.

Steps moving forward:

1) decide which statutory board to join
2) decide if I'd rather go private
3) if firm that I want to join HDB, try again.
4) LOOK FOR A ROLE THAT ACTUALLY FITS MY EXPERIENCE, DON'T APPLY ON A WHIM

An unexceptional life

The best life there is for me

https://shulamitw.wordpress.com/2015/03/04/what-is-the-point-of-living-an-unexceptional-life/

The best course over

Why do i feel so sad that the 3 day course is over

Maybe it's because it was the best course ever

Maybe it's because the trainer was great. He's a university professor who seemed so excited and entertained to teach us. He really has passion to teach adults like us.

But it's not the first time that ivh had a great and wise professor.

Maybe it's because he really makes the time and effort to get to know every single one of us by name in the 3 short days, and he takes the time to interact with each and every single one of us.

Maybe it's because he shares these personal stories of his wife and kids that I feel like I know him so well

I feel like I really have learnt so much from him these few days. He is really such an inspiring teacher. And he would be an equally amazing boss..

Maybe it's because he managed to foster a feeling of closeness amongst the class. He forced us to switch places every day. For the first time I actually feel close to almost half of my course mates and I feel sad that I'm leaving them. Usually I'm only sad to say goodbye to the one or 2 I have bonded with. With all of the case studies and role play, I really feel surprisingly close to most of them.

Maybe it's because my course mates are great. I keep worrying that they will see me as a phony coz I'm so young. And most of them have worked for like 8 or 10 years or more. But they accepted me as a peer. And it's like I suddenly have a support network that I can look to when I need help on how to manage staff. It's not like before where I'm just floundering in the deep. It is true that the higher u climb the more lonely u get.

This course has really opened by world view on how to be good management. I hope that I will be able to do it.

It helped me to understand myself and identify my weaknesses. Will work more on the cross division cooperation and on growing my subordinates and letting them devise solutions on their own.

I am so amazed and enlightened.

Raising ur children right

How do u know if u have made it in life

That PSLE score?

Actually I don't think so. As long as you can live happily, not be a burden to ur parents and contribute to society, I think that u have made it.

Ask for It. That salary.

https://www.themuse.com/advice/how-i-negotiated-for-15000-more-than-what-the-company-offered?utm_source=facebook.com&utm_medium=referral&utm_campaign=greatist-facebook

Everyone needs to rear this

http://qz.com/640112/the-career-advice-no-one-tells-you/?utm_source=parIC&%3Futm_source=parIC&cid=sf01002&sr_share=facebook

So nice to meet old friends

So nice to meet wengyi again! I should meet up with nori and wengyi but I keep procrastinating..

Nothing lasts forever

Because nothing lasts forever
Why so I have a heavy heart
Because nothing lasts forever
I should have known
That it would come soon

Because all we ever do is say goodbye
I'm going to find another you

6 Small Shifts to the Way You Talk That Will Make You (and Everyone Else) Happier at Work

Ask us how we're doing at the end of a long, stressful workday, and chances are you’ll hear, “I’ve been better” or some equally snippy response. Although it may be unintentional, comments like these can negatively impact your mood—as well as the people around you.

A better idea: Why not use your words to promote happiness, positivity, and productivity in the workplace? That’s the concept behind Broadcasting Happiness, a new book by Michelle Gielan, a happiness researcher and founder of the Institute for Applied Positive Research.

Here are six easy ways that you can start broadcasting happiness to strengthen both your personal and professional relationships.

1. Start on a positive note.
Gielan calls this a “power lead“: “It's the opposite of the typical approach in journalism, which is to begin a broadcast with the most sensational or negative story.” Instead, start meetings, calls, or emails with a positive and uplifting statement. “Research shows that how we begin a conversation is predictive of how well it turns out,” she says. “And because the ‘power lead’ is simple and can come from any person regardless of rank, it can turn anyone into a positive broadcaster.”

Try it: Greet fellow employees or customers with a smile or high five in the morning, or remark how much you’re loving your cup of coffee (rather than complaining about how tired you are). In emails, try a positive subject line like “Our next GREAT collaboration,” versus “Q3 Synopsis Development.” Even something as small as adding “Hope you had a great weekend!” to an email can make a difference, Gielan says.

2. Make new memories.
“Flash memories” are what Gielan calls the first thoughts or associations you have in response to a particular stimulus. Changing them from negative or neutral (“Last time we pitched this client, we failed“) to positive (“We've had so much success recently—we've got this“) can increase motivation and achievement. “The way we process the world and how we decide to operate within it is largely guided by our memories of the past,” Gielan explains. (How very Total Recall.)

Try it: If your team needs motivation, spotlight current successes that encourage future achievement, Gielan suggests. It also helps to invoke an emotional connection: For example, invite a client to tell your team how their work has made a difference. Also, tell these success stories over and over: Repetition is key to creating positive flash memories.

3. Fact-check the situation.
One of the most inspiring stories in Broadcasting Happiness is about a young man who became a quadriplegic after a paragliding accident. Rather than lose hope, Joe Stone “fact-checked” the story that doctors told him: that he’d never be able to walk again. Instead, he worked hard in physical therapy, got special equipment, and competed in a triathlon one year after his accident. As Gielan says, “Joe fact-checked his prognosis and found facts that helped fuel him to work hard to create a better future for himself.” While not all situations are this dire, research shows that the differentiator between seeing stress as good or bad is the set of facts a person uses to evaluate his or her situation.

Try it: Say your colleague is convinced her boss hates her: They got along fine for a year, but their relationship has suddenly changed in the past six months. However, you know that his wife is battling breast cancer. When you tell your colleague this one fact, she instantly softens and understands why he hasn’t been himself recently, Gielan says. In this case, it took just one additional fact to change the story.

4. Deliver bad news better.
No one likes giving negative feedback or, worse, firing someone. Learning “the four Cs” will help you talk about something negative—be it at work, at home, or in a relationship—in a better way. “Delivering bad news is a part of life, and it’s never easy, but how you deliver information makes a massive difference in how it’s received,” Gielan says. “Bad news is not the end of the story. Oftentimes it is just the beginning.”

Try it: Next time you have to give bad news, follow the four Cs:

Create social capital: Look the person in the eye, be a good listener, and speak in a soft, friendly tone.
Give context: Provide details that indicate an understanding of a situation from the perspective of the recipient.
Express compassion: Show concern about that person’s stress, misfortune, or suffering.
Stay committed: Show them through your actions that you’re in this together.
5. Take a step back.
We all know one: that “Negative Norm” or “Petty Patty” who’s always complaining or tearing down others’ ideas. Gielan says that taking a “strategic retreat” from the negative people in your life can be crucial to creating more positive relationships at work. “Don’t underestimate the harsh effects negativity can have,” she says. “Negative people have the ability to impact us down to a cellular level and even shorten our life span.” What’s more, negative emotions emitted by others are highly contagious, especially if those people are particularly expressive.

Try it: Sometimes the most effective way to deepen a conversation is to retreat from it, then regroup and reenter the situation with what Gielan calls a “two-minute drill”. How it works: Start with a power lead (praise your difficult colleague for a project well done); complete the mission (ask the question and keep any follow-up questions to a minimum); and leave on a good note (“Thanks, that was really helpful”).

6. Express gratitude.
Research shows that people who express gratitude are happier, more successful, and feel healthier. Plus, habits like giving thanks to others help shut out stress and negativity from the outside world by helping you view your life more positively, Gielan says.

Try it: Every day for 21 days, send a short, positive email praising or thanking someone you know. It can be anyone in your network—colleagues, your spouse, friends, or even the security guard at the front desk of your office. This exercise will help put into perspective the size of the role negative people play in your life, and instead fill your mind with the positive, soul-nourishing people who make your life better, Gielan says.

http://greatist.com/grow/broadcasting-happiness-at-work?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=opengraph&utm_campaign=broadcasting-happiness-at-work&sr_share=facebook