ray ray love~~~

ray ray love~~~

Thursday, October 26, 2017

My Little big adventure - The kindness of strangers

It's lunch hour and somehow I got left behind. The clock was ticking and I knew that if i didn't leave soon id end up having to eat with the boss.

I ran off with a slightly sour taste in my mouth.

After a long climb up a hill, I was in the yong tau foo queue paying for my food. $4.90 the nice malay machik told me. I opened my wallet and only saw a $2 bill. I opened my coin slot and only saw a couple of coins. And i realised that I was in trouble.

In my panic I checked all my emergency cash slots. Handphone. Bag. Spare slots. Nothing. I was all alone. There was no one i could borrow money from  In my desperation I asked the lady where the nearest atm was.

She thought about it and said. I think MOE building. 'All the way down the hill?' I thought. I was horrified! In my hereday it wouldn't have been a problem but In my round and pregnant state going up the hill was already torture but having to make another return trip was unimaginable!

I just stared at her with open eyes in my state of shock. I just couldn't process what to do next. But The lady was really nice. She said 'It's ok. U work around here right? U can owe us the 4.90 first and pay us tomorrow' I told her that I would draw the money and come back today, she repeated that i could come back tomorrow. She was willing to let me eat the meal without paying!!!

I took out all the money in my wallet and it turned out to be 3.90. She said that she can collect the money first and i could pay her back the 1 dollar tmr.

After lunch, I hurriedly made the trip up and down the hill to draw the cash. I brought a packet of fruits for her. I think it should be halal?

When I turned up at the store, she was so surprised to see me. She said 'I thought I told u that it's ok u can come back tomorrow?' I told her 'I'm sorry I feel so bad that I forgot to pay u that I had to do it today. So i went to draw the money and I bought some fruits for u' she refused it at first, and only collected the money, But I continued 'recently after i got pregnant' she cut in 'yes I saw that u were pregnant so i told u that it's ok' i continued ' I'm really forgetful and so I was really embarrassed when i forgot so I was really touched and thankful and grateful by what u did, so please accept it'

She turned quite red and looked quite touched when i said that I was touched and I felt touched and felt like crying Too

When walking down the hill..

I concluded.. i guess that my dads advice on just give and don't ask.. does come in handy after all

Monday, July 31, 2017

Confused

Ivh been pondering about it for a while. It's not that my friends are weird. I just feel that something is weird because their thoughts and actions are inconsistent. Also because ivh always surrounded myself with people who ivh felt are more competent than me at life. Who seem to have it all figured out. I feel so confused when i see them fumbling along and asking questions that answers are plain to me to see. Could it be that you can know your friend even better than she even knows herself? Ivh never  believed in that. Ivh always thought that you should know yourself better than anyone else possibly can.  That's something my mum and my family doctors have always told me, And when i was young, i used to tell them i don't know. Ivh spent all my life. Puzzling over this. Trying to figure it out. Now that I'm older and I can see clearly now. I know who i am. I know what im here for. I know what will upset me and what wont. And how not to set myself up for suitations that will lead to upset. Because unless we change, history will always repeat itself. I thought everyone had moved along too. With university education. Into this plane of thought. That one should use logic and do forward planning and research to avoid disappointment.


But recently I realised that there's so many people around me who don't know themselves or what they want in life. And I feel confused by it. Like when did our disjoint happen? Did they change? Or have they been like this all along and it's me who changed? Did I grow up too fast?

I don't think i grew up too fast. Ivh always planned to have my life mapped by 30. I remember them saying 25 or 27. Maybe that why I'm confused.

So what then is it. Why do they seem so confused with life?

Friday, June 30, 2017

Stress

If talking to you gives me stress
Because I'm always second guessing he hidden agenda
Then we shouldn't be friends right?
Maybe I'm just giving chance because I'm hopeful
That I'm misinterpreting or over thinking and hope that u really want to be friends
How long should I give it before I cut the cord?

Friday, May 19, 2017

Frustration

I just get very frustrated when i talk to you

I don't understand how someone who is in civil service  (made it to local U and got 2nd upper) can be lacking in both IQ and EQ.

Its not even memory coz ur short term n long term working memory is so bad you keep asking other people for help on things that you should know by now or is ur responsibility to remember.

It can't even be sex for grades coz u r so ugly thats a face only a parent can love and u smell so bad it's like being hit by a garbage truck.

So it must be an elaborate scheme to evade work. 

Tuesday, May 16, 2017

Pregnancy brain week 5

I teared when i looked at the prawn noodle stall selling oyster omelette and remembered I couldn't eat it
I forgot the name of the pizza which has cheese and pineapple in it

Wednesday, April 19, 2017

Good job. You should be proud of yourself.

Years ago I read a parenting book that included this advice: When your child does something amazing, do not say, “I am so proud of you.” Instead say, “You should feel so proud of yourself.” That is a hard habit to break, inserting the parental I and confusing your child’s identity with your own. Forgetting that it’s not about you. Stepping in when you should be stepping back. And so I will say to you, Owen, on the day you don that cap and gown: My beloved child, you should feel so proud of yourself. It was all you.

http://time.com/4737972/son-graduating-college-letter/

Wednesday, March 08, 2017