Ivh been updating my resume. I could see. After I made it to senior manager. Ivh been living in a dream. there's no position for assistant Team lead. So I just wait here. Not doing much of anything. I talk to people. Where did my drive and ambition do. I don't see any progression path for me. I don't know what working for. I just feel so lost..
I need to get out so I can find it again.
Can I ask for some advice. Recently I sleep trained my baby coz at 9 months he still wasn't sleeping through the night. Before that he would wake up 2 to 5 times a night. Because of the sleep training he wakes up at 630am and sleeps at 730pm regardless of weekday or weekend. Sometimes he wakes up in the middle of the night once, but now it's rarely.
My office hours are 830 to 6 and I take 1 hour to get to or from work. I asked to report early at 730 so that I can reach home at 6pm so that I could spend some time with my baby.
The early hours and late nights are taking its toll on me. I'm still pumping and coz I don't have a maid I wake up at 530am and sleep at 11pm to pump and do chores. I have never fallen asleep at my table and I often I eat in and work so I can have a nap over lunch. Recently it's harder and harder to get up and harder and harder to stay awake. There was a briefing on a software which was just for information, coz the company wasn't going to pay for it. I couldn't help it. In the dark auditorium I fell asleep.
My boss spotted me and he wasn't happy. He told me to report later so that I won't be so tired. He doesn't understand how I feel. He is in his 50s and unmarried. Even if I report later theres no difference because I still can't sleep in coz I need to take care of baby when he wakes up. I'm struggling to stay awake and most days I oversleep my alarm and reach 15 mins late. But I always stay back later to compensate for it. I was scolded and told to reach on the dot.
How do you deal with a boss who doesn't know what it's like to be a parent? I feel like I'm losing my mind.
My boss is not understanding at all
I have a new baby
I know I changed my reporting time to 730.
I know I have been late 10 or 20 mins.
I know I haven't been on the dot. But I still try my best to complete all my work and I do work later to make up for it. But still reporting on the dot or even earlier than the dot is essential to him.
He accused me of being tired. He said that if I'm tired I should start later. He doesn't understand. That even if I start later I'm going to he just as tired because baby is awake anyway. He accused me for falling asleep at a briefing which I had thought of as useless, because we don't get to use the software anyway. What's the point of attending it? Everyone else was just using their laptop anyway. Maybe I should have used my laptop too. But to me, catching up on sleep just seemed so much more important. So that I can function properly and do work. But to him staying awake at a briefing of 150pax in a dark auditorium was more important. He told me that I should have gone to wash my face. I think next time I should just take leave instead.
He accused me of poor work performance. He used the HR online pages as example. He said that I'm supposed to clean everything throughly and check through. I did not expect that I'm supposed to do that. I thought that it had been done before very recently when Elicia was deadhead, hence I'm not sure why I'm doing it again, and why the whole thing changes now that I'm desk head although there's no policy change. If there is a policy change, yes I will scrub through everything. But for the ML page, they only told me to insert a FAQ. I didn't know that the expectation was to go through everything.
He said that as a mx 11 I shouldn't expect him to still check through all my work. I agree, I don't need him to check. But to me, all of the changes so far are subjective. How would I know that he prefers me to use 'if' instead of 'perhaps'if I didn't check with him? And is it right of him to fault me for this, really?
NS was late for yesterday's briefing. Whole unit of 10 people, late for 20mins. Only 1 staff from their unit was there. I was blamed for their lateness, because I didn't send a reminder right before the briefing. Aren't we all working adults? I had set a reminder at 950am to pop up.
I just feel very demoralised and demotivated. There's no staff empowerment here. And everything I do is wrong. And there's no progression. I haven't learnt any new and valuable skills too. I think it's time to move on.
