Keep yelling at her, I dare you.
Watch as she learns to bite her lip to keep tears back. Watch as her voice drops to a whisper when you raise your voice, and her whole body freezes.
Listen as she slowly stops telling you when anything is wrong, as she withdraws into herself, and away from any space you're in.
You won't have to think too hard as to why she can't look you in the eye when you speak to her anymore. She's afraid of you now, isn't that what you wanted? She can't trust you anymore, how do you feel about that?
Don't you worry, she won't cry where you can see it anymore. She'll never come to you when she's upset, either, but that's fine, right?
Maybe she'll start to fight back. Maybe she'll learn to scream just as loud as you do, and to hell with the consequences. Maybe she'll find some other way to comfort her hurts.
Keep yelling at your daughter, go ahead. When she moves out for college, she won't call you to tell you how she's been. She might not even show up for Christmas. She will never be home to mess up anything for you anymore.
If you try to ‘teach' your daughter to not have a completely normal reaction to your verbal assaults of her, you will hurt her forever. You will hurt your relationship with her forever. Please, if you care at all, just stop. Don't shout. Don't berate her for crying. There are so many better ways.
If you are going to shout in anger or frustration, take a break. Come back when you can express yourself in a mature manner. If you are just shouting because you think it is the only thing that will have an effect on your daughter, I promise you that if you ask her how you can get through to her, she will have a better solution.
You are the person that can make a positive change. Your daughter won't cry when you yell if you don't yell at her. You can do better.
Thank you for reading
