Ivh been so busy this week i could cry. and it's only tuesday

Monday had more sports heats. ran 800. Not good. haiz. think i havent run for too long? when i started warm up run i had cramps. then when i started running itself i felt the wierdest sensation ever. It was like having pins and needles while running. I felt as if if i just shut my eyes i would roll off into dreamland or sth. so wierd. then i told myself no need to push. it's ok. but at the end when the 2nd last person tried to overtake me i pek chek fight with her for 6th spot then i realised that i still could run. argh! perhaps should have tried harder earlier?? After tt i acc elaine take taxi (poor girl was so wiped 4m e 400 relay) then i walked with shek to cwp, where i borrowed books (by myself, no way better =) ) then went popular for stationary n jiaying's musical paper n look 4 mum's day cup. argh. crap. think whole of sg is in shortage of em. how??

Today i had chem extra lessons after school. Had chem test today. I really duno how i will do. can only honestly say. I DIDNT STUDY. argh. *pulls hair in frustration*

At e brink of dying already. Still got 3 more days to go. Tmr Science youth festival. Im so not prepared. Hope i dont flop n embarass myself or sth. haiz. Then Thursday i have jap N physics test. No time to study. >_< after tt gotta go get LC's prezzie. Friday still got sports day n after tt e celebration. argh. think tt by end of this week i will be seriously wiped. wish me luck.

dad went 4 cyst removal at amk 2dae. think they sent it for checking or sth. Hope he's ok. haiz.

Guess what? My turn to recieve the IJC letter about coming prelims n my block test results. Looking pretty good if i do say myself. Now if only i can get rid of e F for maths then... But do i really have that big feet? my results say that i do.. Results: B3.Big.Big.Feet.. Hmmm...

Reading some book from Charles de Lint. It's called Blue Girl. It's right up my doorstep. E kind of book i really adored n loved reading, say like last year. Now it's still pretty good i guess. Addictive too. Just wana carry on reading it but i gotta do this smart home thing. haiz. Oh ya. I read until i too was scared of the darkness. Ivh never had an imaginary friend. Tried to have one but never worked. The closest thing was my make believe otherself. But hell yeah. I missed her too.. Im scared.. No openings of the other door please. I dont want to walk the boundaries of this world too..

Izit just me or do i have some attitude problem? I cant help but dao some ppl if it gets too close. It's a involuntary action. Im sorry. Im scared of what i might feel. Ivh lost count of the no of people ivh suddenly started to ignore for a while then suddenly come back into their lives again. Please give me time.

You should know even better then i do that i will follow you to the ends of the earth if you want me to. As must as i wish for us to have a future its pretty obvious tt we dont. Id give up the world to try again but now really isnt the time. And its not like you yourself is willing to even let us try again. So why do you keep asking me those confusing questions? Do you even understand how messed up and hurt inside i feel? Whether or not i still love you, whether or not im willing or not, will it make a difference? Is this your heart, your pants or your brain speaking?