Been in hiding 4 so long. heh. decided to come back and say

Hi world!

Anyways, gotta update about the missing month right?

I'vh got MANY belated wishes for the following people (and some early)

29/6: Brian (couzin)
30/6: Elaine
01/7: Parry, gor
5/7: Deepika
18/7: JingYing
19/7: Eunice (XiaoMei!), Alvin, ChuanLim
20/7: Cedric, Denise (cousin)
22/7: Deborah
4/8: Huifang (ahbu)

Happy birthday to everyone! (anymore birthdays i go broke liao. sobs. -_- )

Recently addicted to star folding! god knows why? :P

Ystd claz outing at cwp. AGAIN, v pek chek coz only 3/5 of e class showed up! 12 ppl!! 12 ppl out of 17 ppl who said tt they would appear! ahhh! anyway, it was fun N a big thanks to our civics teacher mr ang 4 treating us 2 e movie n swensens. lol. sssh. ^_^ free food!

Pirates of the carrebian was nice. but !?! why!?!? the ending like tt??? >_<

Dennis, Andy and Desiree are interesting people. heh. nice seeing you guys. hasnt been tt long yet though.

Gor's boss's kids are very cute!

Big sweet land is fun! and gor n dasao very heng keep on winning! tts what i call lover's luck! :P u guys r meant to be! dont give up whateva comes! jiayo!

Off to gor's house to play ??? game where we rapidly bash his controller's buttons to spoil his controller and win the game. lol. fun. ^^

Caught up with eunice, dina, nisha, pa to eat at pizza hut. E new "stuffed crust pizza with removable crust" is nice! yummy!

one more thing...
Im SO BROKE I COULD CRY!

Its been long.. Had school?? Just recompleted DK2. haha. gota go tend to edward now. his cage is filthy!


It shouldnt hurt.

Its been so long it shouldnt hurt

i shouldnt hurt anymore

But just for a day i let myself be vulnerable

Silly me.

It does hurt.

Dont call me. i wont answer.


Its not fair to deprive them of love just because they were from you. I deem them mine and shall lavish as much love and attention on them as i desire.

Paper houses, paper chains
Rows of paper dolls and paper frames
Fleeting visions of paper flowers
Dilligently she snips for many hours
And watch in fascination the curious way her expression sours
When ever so softly blows the wind
Her cries of dismay raise quite a din
.....
(cant figure out what follows..)


Who's gona steal me away from the world?

You're e best
You could be an angel among society
But you get crushed
From what you see
You try to hard to help
and thats enough for me
Try to change what you can
And accept all thing things you cannot
(dont stress yourself baby)
I know you wana fly away from the world
But not for all the time we'vh got
Let's take a ride
On the country side
Lets just get away
we can spent the night
till the morning light
.
.
.
Hop in e car, go with me
You dont have to pack everything
Dont you wana feel the breeze
And forget everything baby?


I need to get away from life for a while. Sorry. Inbox is full again. N wont be clearing it for some time.

Finally! E exams are over! whoop! Im so happy!

Yesterday i went to JiaYIng's house with dina to watch tsubasa & innuyasha. ^^ happy! Jy house is sooo big! and a bit old but still very very cool! ^^ duno why but i like old buildings. Oh ya! we went to her "small" plaza. It LOOKED small from outside. inside was damn big lahh!! haiyo!

Oh ya! before tt we caught a movie, just my luck at clementi cinemas. Wah. The palce was so old! it was an antique maze! so cool! those kind of old cinemas with the really scary toilets specially made for each cinema! cool!!!! Stanley joined us coz he didnt want to go home so early. At first kind of wierd coz he like "self invited himself" But we felt too bad to say no. Thought it to was an "all girls outing" coz u know us girls, we gotta go see those kinda stuff tt guys find boring like accessories n stuff like tt. Felt kinda bad for him coz after a while he was bored. But after a while, it was AOK. Maybe even more intersting coz got more people? He's an ok guy lah. Learnt more about him n his rabbit. And when he spoke of his rabbit he just "melted" Thats the no. one way to find out if ppl are ok or not. If theres 1 thing in the world tt can make them go gaga n is not a typical guy thing, he should be ok as a person. really.

Re reading my previous post, even i find myself scary. Anger is a strange thing. Would i really? When at the end of all those good guy - vs bad guy movies, if the ending is not comical towards the bad guys, i cant help but feel really really sorry for the villians in the show. A good example would have been X-men 3, the last stand, i couldnt help but feel really really sorry for magneto. N in games like FF7 and stuff like tt where you actually get to know about the "villan", his past and his history, and that he wasnt bad from the start, just corrupted, and watching their fall from such great power to this empty lonely soul, i really felt really sorry for them. I feel this desire to take them into my arms and give them a hug and tell them that "everything is gona be just fine. Dont cha worry."

Unless the villan is a faceless monster who is evil beyond recognition and salvation. Then strike you blade deep into it's core, twisting hard to break it, and feel no regret or remorse at the end of it's existence.

Today i went for a hair cut with dina. Now our hair is exactly the same length! what's ironic was that she trimmed hers by 2 inches n mine was 1 inch but i had more hair on e floor after my cut than her! O_O

Chem was A'ok. ^^ actually finished everything! ^^ but im afraid of careless mistakes..

1 more paper to go! all e way! good luck to the world!

G.S.T = Give. support. thankful. then will feel GREAT, SUPER, TERIFFIC! lol. someone's wierd nick.

Im so stark fuming mad. Im so mad im shaking inside. Its queer because it's cold but it burns. Thats it. That's the last straw! ill go become a lawyer. Then i can protect my family. No longer shall we be twittering baboons, lost and indecisive, without alternatives not because we are inferior, rather because we were ill informed. You devise to steal away everything that has become precious to me. Ill become rich and famous, then one day, i'll know enough law to twist and wrap it around my finger to fight back and sue the pants off you.

But i'll need to study so damn hard.

You may take away our livelihood, take away our material comforts, strip away what defines a normal life, but as long as i live, you will never break my spirit. I say this with as much vehemence the day you chased us out of the most precious place in the whole wide world to me. I hate you. and i still do. Where is your sense of human compassion? Inhuman, scheming, money mongering inbecils. If i could iwould comdemn a plague of locusts upon you, not to eat any of your non-existant fields, but to drain your assets. The day of your demise will be the greatest day of my life.

I am staunch believer against the users of profanity. We are all civilised people. Why degrade yourself to the standard of a babarian when you rant and rave. Dont you know how foolish you look repeating the same word over and over again, that silly meaningless 4 lettered word, an act from which humans are one of the few species to engage in and derive pleasure from. How common and imbecillic you look, how you demote yourself by advertising flamboyantly how limited your vocabulary really is?

Let's let life be more colourful. When i scold, it will be so full of "flavour" that most of it will be beyond your understanding. But then, then, the only thing that will stand between you and the epitome of my hatred would be god's saving grace.

I dont get mad often. But when i do get mad, i dont just get mad. I MAKE SURE i get even.

Now, all i gotta do is everything that i am capable of. But being 18 and looking like you are still 14 means not much.

No, dont worry. I just need to rant and rave. MAD . Ill be ok.

Remember e times when....
You were all wet and silly looking..
So i toweled you down..
And you fell asleep in my hand?

Whenever i look at anything sleeping, this overwhelming desire to risk life and limb to protect it no matter what happens, come what may. Maybe its just coz whenever anyone or anything is asleep, theres this stark look of naked vunerability stamped all over their face. Oh ya. Thats provided that i know and actually like tt person as a person. I dont feel this kind of feeling to the blangadeshi sleeping at my voiddeck during the hot afternoon. lol. But i do get tt warm fuzzy feeling looking at e adorable kitties snooze. lol.

Now i understand why there's this general trend that the eldest child is the most well behaved and the youngest is the miscreant. Its not that parents go "awwww. how cute. The younger is cuter than the older one. Lets pamper him" Ok.. maybe thats the case for some.. I find that one tires of drilling discipline in their children after a while. Perhaps life would be easier if we would just "let it be" and not constantly harp and nag and pester. Bad move. Edward is a complete spoilt brat! one day tt little un will jump to his death i tell you! *choy! choy!* *touches wood* Im always catching him whenever he "falls" so he expects my hand to "magically appear" and catch him! argh! i used to train them not to jump off high places "i trained my tortoises last time. Taught them how to look down over sharp edges. So cute they were. But edward. Haiz. After a while you just tire of the training. Just let him be. haiz.

Todays weather was DAMN HOT. no need to waste money go suana. just spend time in school hall. dots.

2 more papers to go! ^^

Goodluck! jiayo all!

Chem wad BAD. and its not like im expecting to get grades within the range of A-D. Its really really bad. >_< omg.

So tired. Tmr the mother of all exams are gona come and smack us in the face. Phy in the morning then maths! ARGH. i really cant stand morning afternoon papers. Now im alredy so drained. how to tahan tmr?

Think id better go sleep now. Pray that i pass. haha.

Oh ya!

Today bro bought lunch 4 me! a million thanks! (coz i was too lazy to leave the house n he was too free me thinks. lol.)
-eternally grateful-
No wait. Eternity ends in

3

2

1

oh. its over le. haha. next time

just wana say

GOOD LUCK TO EVERYONE 4 EXAMS! ^^

Think im going blind these days. I can walk past ppl n dont see them. Today i met crystal and kahmun! ^^ separately tt is. But they had to like do sth to make themselves REALLY REALLY obvious to me like call my name (loudly) or wave (frantically?) Maybe i should wear my glasses permanently or sth..

Or mabe im too busy wandering around, lost in a dream that will never be realised.
Im sorry but the girl you think you know died a long time ago. Along with her heart.

I wanted to blog about sth really..

Different?

Awe inspiring?

Im just sick of doing minute mundane recordings of what i have done.
bla bla bla
It's not like anyone is interested in what i do day in day of for amusement right?


When does one come to the edge of the world?
Look over the gaping hole that is nothingness
And comtemplate on whether it is actually better on the other side?
What spurs them on
To actually have the guts to
Jump.
Am i a coward,
because i like many of my peers,
have not the courage to do so?

Sometimes i wonder if my facade will crack open.
Then you will see that im someone else inside
Its ok to pretend that you know me
Because the girl you assume to know
is but another of her long practiced conceptions
yet harbour no doubt, for
I smile, not because i agree
rather, What i wear,
Is the smile of indulgence

Thursday i watched sesame street. Found it so amusing! i really wanted to stick around 4 e whole show. but had to go out to buy lunch. so. haiz.

Cherish memories for when the moment passes, that is all you will have left.
Hopes are good coz they bring the promise of something better.



Do you believe in love at first sight?
Let me tell you a story...

Somewhere on the Nonce, is a tribe of winged creatures called the Fathathai. A gentle, shy people; almost like angels. There are very few of them on the island, because they dont find love easily, and so a Fathathai wedding is a rare event. But anyway, legent goes taht there was one of these creatures by the name of Numa Child, who did fall in love.

Lucky him

Well, yes and no. You see, he fell in love with a woman he met here on the monce, called Elathuria. She was, he thought, the most beautiful woman he had ever set eyes on. There was only one problem.

What was that?

She wasn't flesh and blood as he was

What was she?

As you know, this island is home to some very strange lifeforms. And Elathuria was one of these strangeness.
She was a plant.
You think im joking?

No..

Well, ivh learned only two things in my life. One, that love is the begining and end of all meaning. And two, that it is the same thing whatever shape our souls have taken on this journey. Love is love. Is love.

Ivh had no personal experience of this. But ivh read books. And all the great ones agree with you..
Please tell me there rest of the story..

Well, wehn Numa Child first met the Elathuria she was in full bloom. She was perfection. No other words for it.

Extraordinary

It gets stranger still, believe me. Did i tell you Numa child fell in love in a heartbeat? I mean, literally. It was that fast. He saw Elathuria, and that was it. his fate was sealed.

Love at first sight?
Absolutely
Do you believe in that?
Oh, certainly. It happened to me. The very moment i set yees on the princess Boa, i knew there was no other soul i could ever love. No other to the end of the hours

Well, to continue, So Numa Child told Elathuria instantly. "Lady," he said. "i will never love anyone the way i love you." and much to his surprise, Elathuria invited him to kiss her.
"Quickly," she said. "because the sun is hot and the hour is passing"
Numa didnt think very much about the significance of this. He was simply happy to be invited to kiss his beloved. And as they kissed and talked and kissed again, the hour of the Nonce ticked away..

This isnt going to end happily, is it?

When Numa Child kissed her again, there was a little bitterness on her lips.
"Whats happening?" He said to her.
She told him : "time is passing, my beloved."

And to his horror, he saw that her blossoms, which had been so bright and beautiful when he'd first set eyes on her, were now begining to lose that brightness, and her green leaves were begining to turn gold and brown"

Finally, she said to him: "Dont leave me, love. Promise me you'll never leave. Find me again, wherever i go. Find me."

Of course, Numa didnt understand what she was telling him. "What do you mean?" He asked her.
But it soon became clear. She was leaving him. The wind had risen, and it was shaking her, the way it would shake a tree, so that it's blossoms and leaves fall, and its beauty is carried away. That was what was happening to Elathuria. She was losing her very being, right in front of his eyes. It was terrible..

Elathuria was still strong enough to speak to Numa. "look for me wherever the wind comes" she said, her voice getting more and more hushed, "I will grow again from the seed that is carried away from this place."

Numa was, of course happy to hear this. But his mind was filled with questions and doubts.

"Will it really be you?" He said to her

"Yes,"She told him. "It will be me in every particularity. Except one."

"And what's that?" Numa asked her.

" I wont remember you." She replied.

Even as she spoke these words, a breath of harsh wind sprang up and shook her violently, so that she was entirely shaken apart --"

No! had she gone?
Well, yes and no..

The wind has scattered the seeds over a considerable distance, but Numa was determined to find soem trace of her --any trace-- so he searched like a wild man, not resting, until his search was rewarded.

At last, after a long time searching for her, he finally found her, rooted in a new place. She was still growing, but he knew her immediately, and fell in love with her again, just as he had the first time."

And she with him?
Yes of course
Even though she didnt remember him?
Yes. She was still the same soul, after all. And so was he....
So history repeated itself?

Indeed it did. Not once, but over and over and over. Though Numa Child swore his undying devotion to Elathuria, the hour would always pass, and the wind would always come, and she would be carried away to some new place. Sometimes he would find her quickly, sometimes not.

And so do you really think they are still out there, loving each other, and then being separated, and him finding her again, only to be separated again?
Yes i do..
What a terrible way to love...

Love makes it's demands, and you listen. You cant bargain with it. You cant fight it. Not if it's really love.

Are you still talking about Numa child and Elathuria?

Im talking about all lovers

Ah i see...



I dont know why but this story ahd some sort of impact on me.

Soul mates? Do i believe?

If i do then i am a fool, for i have met him and left him already.


Can you find me?

Ivh been tagged!


1. Do the following without complaints
2. Choose 5 people to do this after you completed yours
3. Leave a tag on the person's tagboard to say he/she have been tagged
4. Start your post with "I have been tagged!" then do this


Favourites
favourite colour: Yellow
favourite food: Sushi / tomato based pasta / watermellon / mango pudding
favourite song: John mayer's "83"
favourite movie: Cant think of any for the moment
favourite sport: Long distance Running / Pool
favourite day of the week: Friday
favourite season: Summer. i like e sun. n sunny days. never fails to lift spirits ^^
favourite ice-cream: Erm. actually i like ALL ice cream?

Currents
current mood: Bleah. xian of exams coming.
current taste: Aftertaste of Lychee moochi in my mouth
current clothes: Shirt N shorts
current deskstop: Still picture of my class from last year at Elaine's bbq!
current toenail: Filed, deep blue wanabe
current time: Tama says its 10.01.10 Is tama accurate?
current surroundings: Com room
current annoyances: My face itches...
current thoughts: Im SOOOOOOOOOOOO sick of studying! heck! i need a life other than studying! but are we supposed to have lives this year? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooo... *fade out*

First
first best friends: Amanda & Darrini (did i spell her name correctly?)
first crush: I cant remember his name! Some cute guy from K1 me thinks.
first movie: Erm. i think it was disney.
first lie: *gives wide eyed innocent look* "no mummy i didnt forget to off the lights. It came on by itself!"
first music: Carpenters. ^^ or tt cd of dad that i 'koped' from his collection that i still have. Think its called Tennessee walts- my favourite songs


Lasts
last cigarette: Erm. har? unless you count passive smoking? like some irritating ppl who have to smoke as they walk past you then im dying from the stench..
last drink: cant remember. =p last month?
last car ride: Friday
last crush: Does tt mean the previous one or the current one?
last movie: X-Men 3: The Last Stand
last phone call: Cant rmb. The phone rings so often its irritating.
last CD played: John mayer's heavier things


Have you ever have you ever dated your best friend: Over my dead body! Thats as good as courting suicide!
have you ever broken the law: Does chewing chewing gum and watching M18 movies while you are not 18 yet and going to pub while you are not 18 yet and sitting in cars where you are not the driver but the driver breaks the speed limit count?
have you ever been arrested: Me? do crime? *gives innocent look*
have you ever skinny-dipped: If theres no one but me n e fishies 4 sure. and def not in singapore where it's illegal!! Maybe in a hottub in japan.. Hmm.. Def w/o e guys!!
have you ever been on tv: Tt time mr ang superhost tt show we go support him i got caught on camera jumping around like a bunny. so embarassing.
have you ever kissed someone you don't know: Once upon a dream. I met him eventually.


5 things you are wearing: Hair clip, clothes, undergarments? I really dislike the hassle of having to accessorise.
4 things you done today: Study, watch tv, play with tama, disturb edward.
3 things you can hear right now: The tv, some irritating ppl trying to sing on karoke, the mrt train
1 thing you do when you are bored: sleep