Nothing lasts forever

Because nothing lasts forever
Why so I have a heavy heart
Because nothing lasts forever
I should have known
That it would come soon

Because all we ever do is say goodbye
I'm going to find another you

6 Small Shifts to the Way You Talk That Will Make You (and Everyone Else) Happier at Work

Ask us how we're doing at the end of a long, stressful workday, and chances are you’ll hear, “I’ve been better” or some equally snippy response. Although it may be unintentional, comments like these can negatively impact your mood—as well as the people around you.

A better idea: Why not use your words to promote happiness, positivity, and productivity in the workplace? That’s the concept behind Broadcasting Happiness, a new book by Michelle Gielan, a happiness researcher and founder of the Institute for Applied Positive Research.

Here are six easy ways that you can start broadcasting happiness to strengthen both your personal and professional relationships.

1. Start on a positive note.
Gielan calls this a “power lead“: “It's the opposite of the typical approach in journalism, which is to begin a broadcast with the most sensational or negative story.” Instead, start meetings, calls, or emails with a positive and uplifting statement. “Research shows that how we begin a conversation is predictive of how well it turns out,” she says. “And because the ‘power lead’ is simple and can come from any person regardless of rank, it can turn anyone into a positive broadcaster.”

Try it: Greet fellow employees or customers with a smile or high five in the morning, or remark how much you’re loving your cup of coffee (rather than complaining about how tired you are). In emails, try a positive subject line like “Our next GREAT collaboration,” versus “Q3 Synopsis Development.” Even something as small as adding “Hope you had a great weekend!” to an email can make a difference, Gielan says.

2. Make new memories.
“Flash memories” are what Gielan calls the first thoughts or associations you have in response to a particular stimulus. Changing them from negative or neutral (“Last time we pitched this client, we failed“) to positive (“We've had so much success recently—we've got this“) can increase motivation and achievement. “The way we process the world and how we decide to operate within it is largely guided by our memories of the past,” Gielan explains. (How very Total Recall.)

Try it: If your team needs motivation, spotlight current successes that encourage future achievement, Gielan suggests. It also helps to invoke an emotional connection: For example, invite a client to tell your team how their work has made a difference. Also, tell these success stories over and over: Repetition is key to creating positive flash memories.

3. Fact-check the situation.
One of the most inspiring stories in Broadcasting Happiness is about a young man who became a quadriplegic after a paragliding accident. Rather than lose hope, Joe Stone “fact-checked” the story that doctors told him: that he’d never be able to walk again. Instead, he worked hard in physical therapy, got special equipment, and competed in a triathlon one year after his accident. As Gielan says, “Joe fact-checked his prognosis and found facts that helped fuel him to work hard to create a better future for himself.” While not all situations are this dire, research shows that the differentiator between seeing stress as good or bad is the set of facts a person uses to evaluate his or her situation.

Try it: Say your colleague is convinced her boss hates her: They got along fine for a year, but their relationship has suddenly changed in the past six months. However, you know that his wife is battling breast cancer. When you tell your colleague this one fact, she instantly softens and understands why he hasn’t been himself recently, Gielan says. In this case, it took just one additional fact to change the story.

4. Deliver bad news better.
No one likes giving negative feedback or, worse, firing someone. Learning “the four Cs” will help you talk about something negative—be it at work, at home, or in a relationship—in a better way. “Delivering bad news is a part of life, and it’s never easy, but how you deliver information makes a massive difference in how it’s received,” Gielan says. “Bad news is not the end of the story. Oftentimes it is just the beginning.”

Try it: Next time you have to give bad news, follow the four Cs:

Create social capital: Look the person in the eye, be a good listener, and speak in a soft, friendly tone.
Give context: Provide details that indicate an understanding of a situation from the perspective of the recipient.
Express compassion: Show concern about that person’s stress, misfortune, or suffering.
Stay committed: Show them through your actions that you’re in this together.
5. Take a step back.
We all know one: that “Negative Norm” or “Petty Patty” who’s always complaining or tearing down others’ ideas. Gielan says that taking a “strategic retreat” from the negative people in your life can be crucial to creating more positive relationships at work. “Don’t underestimate the harsh effects negativity can have,” she says. “Negative people have the ability to impact us down to a cellular level and even shorten our life span.” What’s more, negative emotions emitted by others are highly contagious, especially if those people are particularly expressive.

Try it: Sometimes the most effective way to deepen a conversation is to retreat from it, then regroup and reenter the situation with what Gielan calls a “two-minute drill”. How it works: Start with a power lead (praise your difficult colleague for a project well done); complete the mission (ask the question and keep any follow-up questions to a minimum); and leave on a good note (“Thanks, that was really helpful”).

6. Express gratitude.
Research shows that people who express gratitude are happier, more successful, and feel healthier. Plus, habits like giving thanks to others help shut out stress and negativity from the outside world by helping you view your life more positively, Gielan says.

Try it: Every day for 21 days, send a short, positive email praising or thanking someone you know. It can be anyone in your network—colleagues, your spouse, friends, or even the security guard at the front desk of your office. This exercise will help put into perspective the size of the role negative people play in your life, and instead fill your mind with the positive, soul-nourishing people who make your life better, Gielan says.

http://greatist.com/grow/broadcasting-happiness-at-work?utm_source=facebook&utm_medium=opengraph&utm_campaign=broadcasting-happiness-at-work&sr_share=facebook

Manipulators

http://hubpages.com/relationships/Spot-the-manipulator-in-your-life

Pretending to be the victim
A manipulator may pretend as being a victim of circumstances or bad behavior of someone,making you feel sympathy for him or her.
When a person tries to seek your sympathy,carefully observe that person,before you invest emotionally or involve yourself in something unpleasant.
So how to tell a false victim from a real one.
A false victim talks about the events that were abusive to them in a calm, cool and detached way. They appear to get over the emotions of the abusive experience rather quickly and they don’t appear to dwell, or obsess over the abusive experiences.
True victims need to reach out for support, it’s important for their survival. They seek therapy, God or other saving methods to restore their mental and emotional health. While talking about the abusive experience, they appear confused, jumpy, nervous and afraid. They may cry hysterically and there is urgency and emotion in their speech. They do not have the cold, cool demeanor of a lying manipulator.True victims go through the grieving process—shock, denial, and anger to finally the stage of acceptance.
But manipulators pretending to be victims don’t try to seek that kind of support. They don’t need it because they were not abused.Manipulators pretend to be victims not to seek kindness and compassion but they are after a goal,so coolly and in control they tell you their story.

Silent treatment
Getting ''Silent treatment'' is an early warning sign that you are dealing with a manipulator.It is a passive aggressive form of emotional abuse in which displeasure, disapproval and contempt is exhibited through nonverbal gestures while maintaining silence.
Manipulators use silent treatment as a weapon to provoke you into doing something or make you feel less worthy by refusing to acknowledge even your presence. If an act of your behavior is not contributing towards the manipulator’s goal they will use silent treatment as a punishment to communicate their displeasure. This is why Clinical psychologist Harriet Braiker identifies it as a form of manipulative punishment.
If it is a sadistic manipulator then they might use silent treatment just to torture you.
Examples of silent treatment might be;
A coworker openly talks to others but refuses to speak to you.
Your roommate is willing to talk to her friends on phone ,or bring them in the room and talk to them for hours, but refuses to speak to you.

Appearing to be selfless
Manipulators keep their intentions,ambitions,desire for power and domination hidden,so in the first few meetings with a manipulator,you might find him/her to be a selfless and helpful person.
Dr.George K.simon explains
‘’Covert-aggressives use this tactic to cloak their self-serving agendas in the guise of service to a more noble cause.It’s a common tactic but difficult to recognize.By pretending to be working hard on someone’s else’s behalf,covert-aggressives conceal their own ambitiob,desire for power,and quest for a position of dominance over others.’’

A very Good first impression
First impression of skilled manipulators is often very good.They use captivating characteristics like impeccable manners,dazzling looks or a winning smile etc. to distract people from their real intentions and message.we hardly buy a book after being impressed by its cover but unfortunately we take people at face value.with manipulators you don’t get what you see.
A manipulator may give you very good first impression,but the cracks in their mask will become apparent only after close observation or spending more time with them.


How many can i name in my life? Kiera, Lydia, Charlotte, Seok Lin, Adeline.

What should you do when you meet these people? Run, dont walk, away from them.

Aftermath from the best week ever

After letting go and just eating whatever I wanted on the best week ever..

MY STOMACH IS STILL ROUND AND MY ABS ARE NON EXISTENT!

WHY OH WHYYY

The most eventful week ever

8- celebrate nisha bday @ handlebar
9- celebrate yq bday @ pizza place + play L4D + eat tau huey
10- celebrate Deepavali @ nisha house
11- yoga with cac
12- hrg learning Festival + Thordon ex
13- HRG dinner (icecream!!!!) + lunch with nellie hui yi n wanwei (future AM) after EAS foundational prog
14- sports4life walk @ NYJC (kel n i got silver!) dad bday lunch + visit to his new house + kel's parents came back+ boardgames with kel Ben jas n KC
15- squash, first trip into1.5hr dungeon, kel's brother's bday dinner @ wedding venue to test the fish

Bitch

http://www.livestrong.com/article/14699-improving-assertive-behavior/

Right no 3 myth no 3 and 4. Aggressive behaviour.  It's got you pinned down to the full stop. This is a must read and must learn. For everyone not just for you. Should take some time to do the exercises.

Team

But about them dropping out as well is an assumption in itself too..

If everything is an assumption and the wrong one at that, thats how we ended up here.

In the future if we want to make this work we need to understand each others intentions..

And true meaning and understanding is achieved only when u strip away the diplomacy. Otherwise we are just diplomats. Not friends. Also we should talk to each other about it not just complain behind others backs. Coz true friends can tell each other off and not take it to heart and grow from it right?

I think the rest of us have all laid our cards on the table.. its whether u n lulu wana come meet us in the middle.. the middle meaning that we try again..

If we are, then everyone would need to stop making assumptions and start communicating.. communication has to be 2 way.. it can't be just us asking, but everyone..

I know everyone is thinking that a leader while good to have.. leader can say "you idiot. Its ur fault go apologise". A leader can also say 'you idiot. You get out" but if everyone knows the team goals and expectations, a leader is not really a must..

If u really will be happier elsewhere im sure everyone will give u their blessings but of course we'd b happier if u guys stay..

But its just a game

What's the point of feeling sad about it
Its just a game
Well because you thought that bonds you formed
And the friendships you gained were real
But turns out that they are not

Didnt get it

Everything that I want here

I didnt get.

I didnt get to go hr summit
I didn't get to go hr foundational prog
I didnt get election duty
I didnt get starting salary adjustment

Maybe its true. They only take care of newer ppl. Maybe its time for me to move.

Whats the point of performing well and getting B. If someone newer is going to to come in and earn the same pay.

Steve Harvey

Aint nobody's job to meddle. Aint nobody's job to nag. As parents.  Im sure u feel me here we r both parents.  It's our job to love and nurture and guide.