Work quotes

I have come to the conclusion that the most updated policy is the policy is boss' s head - elicia

You cannot rationalize something with people who are irrational. Especially when they are emotional - cheryuan

Self note:relationships and MILs

http://time.com/3154651/6-things-to-do-to-improve-your-relationship/

1) do exciting things
2) pretend its ur first date
3) good things to bad things ratio
5:1

For MIL it should be
1000:1

And they are not kidding D:

The strength of human attachment

When in the presence of a caregiver,  the infant brain’s fear and avoidance circuits are suppressed. Attachment “programs the brain,” she says. “The ability of an adult who can say to you, I had a horrible childhood, I don’t like my parents, but then do things to continue to get the parents’ approval, is an example of the strength of human attachment in early life.”

http://www.slate.com/articles/life/family/2013/02/abusive_parents_what_do_grown_children_owe_the_mothers_and_fathers_who_made.2.html

The man's hard truths of life

On being complacent: “What I fear is complacency. When things always become better, people tend to want more for less work.” Speech at the 10th Anniversary Celebrations of the Jalan Tenteram Community Centre, 27th June 1970 Lee Kuan Yew in his own words, 1959-1970

On corporal punishment: “I have never understood why Western educationists are so much against corporal punishment. It did my fellow students and me no harm.” 1998, The Wit & Wisdom of Lee Kuan Yew

8 qualities to strive for

https://agenda.weforum.org/2015/03/8-ways-to-spot-a-truly-exceptional-employee/?utm_content=buffer2fd2e&utm_medium=social&utm_source=facebook.com&utm_campaign=buffer

The funniest day ever

Boss left and nellie and I were talking. Suddenlu peter appeared and nellie ducked. She was trying to hide below her 1/2 dividor. Confirm still can see. I told her to go lower. She really go under the table. I tell u laugh until cannot keep it in. Some more cannot laugh too loud later peter come over!! Funniest day ever

She told me we accept her. I told her I tolerate her. If I accept her I won't have any complaints I wont tell her that must improve and change

A family just your yours

Key take away:

There is a trope among personal finance reporters that a good talk with the family is the best way to avoid post-death struggles over your estate when you are gone. Sit down with your loved ones over the holidays. Let your children know your estate plans after you’re done carving the turkey, or opening presents underneath the Christmas tree. Tell them about your will, and how you’d like to see your belongings divided up. Convey some life values while you’re at it. Ask for their input. “The kids may surprise you with their own good ideas about how to sharing (sic) your estate

Then there’s reality. There’s barely a person over the age of 40 or so who does not come with a family squabble about, well, things following the death of a well-loved parent, grandparent, or family friend. At the high end, one hears about vacation homes that have been in the family for generations. But most disputes concern less valuable stuff. There are tales told of deeply loved relatives never spoken to again after battles over items like needlepoints and toolkits, living-room tchotchkes or costume jewelry. The battles are often over items that aren’t financially worth an hour of the most inexpensive lawyer’s time.

http://www.slate.com/articles/business/moneybox/2015/02/robin_williams_estate_fight_even_good_planning_can_t_prevent_a_rancorous.html?wpsrc=fol_fb

Absentee mum

You were never there for the things that mattered
But you were there for me everyday

Friendship

But shuttling back and forth between them, I could see that for all their harsh words—over the past decade, they’ve only dug in their heels—they still missed one another. Each, I noticed, teared up at references to the other. Perhaps, when no one is looking—or taking any pictures—they’ll yet come together again. And if they can, maybe, so too, can we.

I teared up. But did you? I guess im the only one doing the missing and who was wounded and was the fool. But ivh moved on from you

What should a person do when everything appears to be going wrong in their life?

I remember a day in the 1990s when I found myself looking at my computer and seeing I had just lost $280,000 in the stock market. That was pretty much all the money I had, and it was irrecoverable, With a shaking hand I turned my computer off, left work, and started driving. And driving. And driving. I had no direction. I just drove and as long as I drove I didn't have to think about all that lost money. Eventually I found myself in Mystic, Connecticut and I decided to stop in at Mystic Pizza and have a slice. I remember as soon as the hot cheese hit the roof of my mouth, the bubble burst and all those repressed feelings came flooding in.

"You fucking moron," I thought, "why did you buy that stock? Why didn't you sell it when it started to go down? Why are you so stupid? If only you'd have pulled out earlier! All that money... gone.... gone... gone...."

I almost puked up all the pizza. I was a wreck.

Later as I drove home, I realized a couple of things. The first was, I wasn't hungry and I wasn't going to be hungry. I had a good job and I would be getting paid next week. My mortgage was up to date. The money I lost was all about ego. It wasn't about my happiness or even my survival, at least not at that moment. I went home and thought about my life and not the money. After thinking about it for a long term, I decided the following:

1 Breathe - as Mr Miyagi says in "The Karate Kid", "No have breath, no have life". So keep breathing. 

2. Have a big glass of water. When things are bad, water is cheap and it helps keep you healthy, and your health is your biggest asset. If you're already sick, water is one of the best medicines.

3. Go for a walk. Again, it's cheap. You don't even have to buy sneakers to walk. It clears your head, gets the blood flowing, helps your health. And the motion will give you the perception of action. You can't do everything but you can do something and this is a something you can do almost anytime, anywhere. 

4. Forgive yourself. You're going to be stuck with yourself for a long, long time. So say you are sorry for the actions that made you fail or for the circumstance of failure and never, ever, ever say, "You're a moron, you idiot, you jerk" etc. You wouldn't tolerate being called names by someone else, why would you do it to yourself? Never, ever, ever cut yourself down. And the word sorry doesn't absolve you of responsibility - it's not magic. You have to resolve to learn from your mistakes and make restitution in some fashion. That means making a plan and taking positive action.

5) Forget about regret. Instead of saying "If only I (fill in the blank)" say instead, "Next time I will (fill in the blank)" You can't change a thing about the past - ever. So focus on improving your future life instead. Every single thing you do today is preparing you for the life you will live tomorrow.

6) Let the deluge wash over you and stand tall. A ship in a storm doesn't try to run from the storm. It turns into the waves and lets them wash over it. Sometimes those waves cause damage, but eventually they pass. When the shitstorm is coming, when the trouble comes, stand up tall, paste a smile on your face, and let it wash over you til it dissipates. Nothing good lasts forever and neither does anything bad and if it is bad, it's got to change. Remember: this too shall pass. 

7) If you have to get angry, do it, but then get over it -- and don't take your anger out on others or, god forbid, your hapless pets. Have a hissy fit, break a plate or two but when you wake up, move the hell on. It's over and too late to change the past.

8) Accept, accept, accept. Many people end up destroying their lives because they can't change the past and they can't get over the damage. You have to accept what has happened. Seriously, this may the most important of all the points (other than drinking some water). Sit back and just accept things as they are, not the way you wish them to be. Forget about silly notions like "fairness". The universe is inimical and doesn't care about poetic justice, or fairness, or right and wrong. Sometimes things happen just because. Get used to it. 

9) Keep moving. As Churchill once said, "When you're going through hell, don't stop!". Sometimes motion is its own answer. Getting stuck in a rut or not moving at all is a big danger.If you do what you always did you will get what you always got, so keep moving and if that's not working, do something completely out of character for you, something random, something unexpected. You're scared? Good. If you aren't scared, you aren't trying hard enough or taking enough risks or learning something new. As Muhammed Ali said once, "Being knocked to the mat doesn't make you a failure, but staying down does. To be a champion, all you have to do is get up and fight for just one more round."

10) Let time do its healing. Everything heals. You will too. 

So what did I do after losing all that money? I bought a vacation house. By doing that I scared myself into taking action and I also signalled to myself that success was still possible, that there was still hope. Not long after my disaster, I took another job. the new company got bought and I made millions.