http://hubpages.com/relationships/Spot-the-manipulator-in-your-life
Pretending to be the victim
A manipulator may pretend as being a victim of circumstances or bad behavior of someone,making you feel sympathy for him or her.
When a person tries to seek your sympathy,carefully observe that person,before you invest emotionally or involve yourself in something unpleasant.
So how to tell a false victim from a real one.
A false victim talks about the events that were abusive to them in a calm, cool and detached way. They appear to get over the emotions of the abusive experience rather quickly and they don’t appear to dwell, or obsess over the abusive experiences.
True victims need to reach out for support, it’s important for their survival. They seek therapy, God or other saving methods to restore their mental and emotional health. While talking about the abusive experience, they appear confused, jumpy, nervous and afraid. They may cry hysterically and there is urgency and emotion in their speech. They do not have the cold, cool demeanor of a lying manipulator.True victims go through the grieving process—shock, denial, and anger to finally the stage of acceptance.
But manipulators pretending to be victims don’t try to seek that kind of support. They don’t need it because they were not abused.Manipulators pretend to be victims not to seek kindness and compassion but they are after a goal,so coolly and in control they tell you their story.
Silent treatment
Getting ''Silent treatment'' is an early warning sign that you are dealing with a manipulator.It is a passive aggressive form of emotional abuse in which displeasure, disapproval and contempt is exhibited through nonverbal gestures while maintaining silence.
Manipulators use silent treatment as a weapon to provoke you into doing something or make you feel less worthy by refusing to acknowledge even your presence. If an act of your behavior is not contributing towards the manipulator’s goal they will use silent treatment as a punishment to communicate their displeasure. This is why Clinical psychologist Harriet Braiker identifies it as a form of manipulative punishment.
If it is a sadistic manipulator then they might use silent treatment just to torture you.
Examples of silent treatment might be;
A coworker openly talks to others but refuses to speak to you.
Your roommate is willing to talk to her friends on phone ,or bring them in the room and talk to them for hours, but refuses to speak to you.
Appearing to be selfless
Manipulators keep their intentions,ambitions,desire for power and domination hidden,so in the first few meetings with a manipulator,you might find him/her to be a selfless and helpful person.
Dr.George K.simon explains
‘’Covert-aggressives use this tactic to cloak their self-serving agendas in the guise of service to a more noble cause.It’s a common tactic but difficult to recognize.By pretending to be working hard on someone’s else’s behalf,covert-aggressives conceal their own ambitiob,desire for power,and quest for a position of dominance over others.’’
A very Good first impression
First impression of skilled manipulators is often very good.They use captivating characteristics like impeccable manners,dazzling looks or a winning smile etc. to distract people from their real intentions and message.we hardly buy a book after being impressed by its cover but unfortunately we take people at face value.with manipulators you don’t get what you see.
A manipulator may give you very good first impression,but the cracks in their mask will become apparent only after close observation or spending more time with them.
How many can i name in my life? Kiera, Lydia, Charlotte, Seok Lin, Adeline.
What should you do when you meet these people? Run, dont walk, away from them.
Pretending to be the victim
A manipulator may pretend as being a victim of circumstances or bad behavior of someone,making you feel sympathy for him or her.
When a person tries to seek your sympathy,carefully observe that person,before you invest emotionally or involve yourself in something unpleasant.
So how to tell a false victim from a real one.
A false victim talks about the events that were abusive to them in a calm, cool and detached way. They appear to get over the emotions of the abusive experience rather quickly and they don’t appear to dwell, or obsess over the abusive experiences.
True victims need to reach out for support, it’s important for their survival. They seek therapy, God or other saving methods to restore their mental and emotional health. While talking about the abusive experience, they appear confused, jumpy, nervous and afraid. They may cry hysterically and there is urgency and emotion in their speech. They do not have the cold, cool demeanor of a lying manipulator.True victims go through the grieving process—shock, denial, and anger to finally the stage of acceptance.
But manipulators pretending to be victims don’t try to seek that kind of support. They don’t need it because they were not abused.Manipulators pretend to be victims not to seek kindness and compassion but they are after a goal,so coolly and in control they tell you their story.
Silent treatment
Getting ''Silent treatment'' is an early warning sign that you are dealing with a manipulator.It is a passive aggressive form of emotional abuse in which displeasure, disapproval and contempt is exhibited through nonverbal gestures while maintaining silence.
Manipulators use silent treatment as a weapon to provoke you into doing something or make you feel less worthy by refusing to acknowledge even your presence. If an act of your behavior is not contributing towards the manipulator’s goal they will use silent treatment as a punishment to communicate their displeasure. This is why Clinical psychologist Harriet Braiker identifies it as a form of manipulative punishment.
If it is a sadistic manipulator then they might use silent treatment just to torture you.
Examples of silent treatment might be;
A coworker openly talks to others but refuses to speak to you.
Your roommate is willing to talk to her friends on phone ,or bring them in the room and talk to them for hours, but refuses to speak to you.
Appearing to be selfless
Manipulators keep their intentions,ambitions,desire for power and domination hidden,so in the first few meetings with a manipulator,you might find him/her to be a selfless and helpful person.
Dr.George K.simon explains
‘’Covert-aggressives use this tactic to cloak their self-serving agendas in the guise of service to a more noble cause.It’s a common tactic but difficult to recognize.By pretending to be working hard on someone’s else’s behalf,covert-aggressives conceal their own ambitiob,desire for power,and quest for a position of dominance over others.’’
A very Good first impression
First impression of skilled manipulators is often very good.They use captivating characteristics like impeccable manners,dazzling looks or a winning smile etc. to distract people from their real intentions and message.we hardly buy a book after being impressed by its cover but unfortunately we take people at face value.with manipulators you don’t get what you see.
A manipulator may give you very good first impression,but the cracks in their mask will become apparent only after close observation or spending more time with them.
How many can i name in my life? Kiera, Lydia, Charlotte, Seok Lin, Adeline.
What should you do when you meet these people? Run, dont walk, away from them.
