The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to obedience and warmth. In love, you feel the most alive when your lover is creative and never lets you feel bored. You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring. You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. Your ideal relationship is lasting. You want a relationship that looks to the future... one you can grow with. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

im shocked. its actually true! bleah!

well, dina said tt i should post this so here goes nothing

Girl met boy one day.
Boy thought girl was so fine he asked her to stay.
Her contact was devulged to him.
And so their strange long distance relationship came into play

She warned him, of the headaches she could cause
But arrogant him was pompous
swearing eternal deference and devotion
proclaiming blessed be he who won her heart
His honey coated words slid off his tongue
But she took them with a dash of salt
However eventually worlds wrapped her and held her under sway
Her friends forewarnings of his ill-nature near forgotten

So came that fateful day
Everything seemed fine, until they met face to face
Enough was enough, the girl was filled was distaste
because it turned out too much like an unplesant game of dodge and chase
of wandering arms, much too unchaste

He demanded a return to his abode
But the girl refused, shurgged her shoulders
wore that smile to hide whats inside
silly him, too was too dazzled and much too fool to decide

a wrong choice was made
invoking anger much underlaid
smile she still wore
although inside she was seething raw

He hailed a cab and motioned for her to get in
Trembling, wondering if she could muster up the courage,
she ran behind and flagged the next cab
jumped in, slammed the door while quickly speaking the destination to the driver
as the taxi sped off
she turned to wave n smile,
staring at his googled face,
wide open shocked mouth

quite interesting a read?

Omg how long has it been since i last blogged?

close to a month? so many things happened!

24/11
i worked

25/11
i had family reunion lunch. grandma's birthday. i met my step mum. she is ok ok lah. im just a tad scared tt she doesnt like me. she tried hard to be nice. but im just scared of what lies underneath. after tt i worked bqt

26/11
i worked bqt

27-28/11
class chalet 3 days! but i fell sick on e last day so i got sent home early. it was so fun! thanks to kelvin n deep 4 taking care of me (teased kel about making a perfect house husband after tt) n big hug 2 everyone for caring for me n a huge appology for making you guys worry! thank you austen 4 replacing me for my job too! it was so fun with bbq, night cycling, escape themepark, and loads of games and and and...

29/11
i was sick the whole day. during 1 am + my dad brought me to doctor. n wth the only doctor open at tt hour was changi hospital. look. ivh always wanted to experience what the whole hospital stay + visit was like but i was so sick i didnt get to enjoy it! omg! its like i was so weak n nauseous it was like. bleah! everything that went in came out! anyway didnt eat much n love dad n mum much, they so cute bought exactly the same food 4 me (fish porridge) even though they r separated they still think so alike. everyone was so sweet sending me get well soon messages i was so touched. love you guys lots!

30/11
i was still kinda giddy and nauseous but i forced myself out of e house so tt i could go shopping for prom with deep aze n hong and elaine (late) met karimah n joey there and it was so fun! :D we went vivocity and we walked like practically every shop my feet were killing me and i silliy took the wrong medication (mixed up the drousy and nausea one) then i was feeling very high and sleepy for the remiander of the afternoon. after tt celebrated rashida's birthday (had fun) met iswan, (m45 fellow woodlander) quite nice guy n went home.

1/12
supposed to be pool with family day, turned shopping for prom with dina n mf day. haha. fun. but tiring. esp since i hadnt fully recovered (dina commented tt it was strange how i was ice cold when usually i was the warmest amongst all and the ans was obvious coz i was still sick)

2/12
shopping again, then i ran off to vivocity to get prom dress while mf n dina struggled with putting the fishscales into mf's eyes. haha. after tt worked bqt n spent the night talking to him

3/12
stupid hy. anyhow book. now we work full day. today i took a 2 whole tables to myself! finally! so fun! =D mango sago n mini cake cake i love you!

4/12
last lasst min prom shopping with dina n mf! i bought a camera! the shop uncle very nice! say tt i cant afford then can eat dinner at his house! then i ask him where he stay he scared thought i take his offer seriously! haha! oh! met shunfa he got free ride back to wdl from my dad.

5/12
IJC PROM! need i say more? just tt my high heels were KILLING me! the event wasnt fun, but the people wree fun! classmates n friends n i were having too much fun amongst ourselves to care about event. but SAD! NO DANCING! AHH! after tt ton overnight with classmates, mr ang, some m45 members. we walked to some hotel, then esplanade, then feet too pain le, me hong, elaine walked barefoot from esplanade to dobby gaut mr bean 24 hrs cafe! sat there played silly games n chit chat. cold the kel lend me his jacket. so long huge lah! but thanks. :D some very xiong still go for moring movie happy feet after tt!

6/12
busy busy busy! dun really remember what happened. oh! guitar lessons, then collect things 4m dina, then i rushed to meet him at cityhall mrt, he paid 4 my taxi fare. then i had one of the most "interesting" dates i every had. put simply, his face is a face tt i hope never to see again.

7/12
went nisha's house! fun fun! played x box whole day n exchanged prom pics! we played some horror school monster game then very scary but fun!

8-10/12
went bintan with koko uncle kwanyat, their church friends n their kid kamiyah & my roommate karen! fun in e sun! acually more like sleep, eat, spa though haha.

11/12
celebrated amy's birhtdya at k box today! fun! hard to describe. got to solo my fav song liu lang but dina mf not there! they go buy cake! ahha

12/12
BUSY DAY! TOO BUSY TO ELABORATE! but i went for 1st driving theory lesson with deep today so xian!!

its strange how you can mislead yourself into believing in perfection where first impression told you that there is nothing but bleak dispair at that end of the road

You are coming back from shanghai soon. im scared of meeting you. i hope that i wont meet you. because ivh found him and the moons and stars are right back in the right places again and my world in almost perfect balance and meeting you once more could displace them.

Xiaomei going australia soon! god speed! i promise to do my best to take care of mocha! dontcha worry! and I WANA MEET MY BROTHER IN LAW SOON!

ystd... went out to celebrate sha's birthday! alot of interesting things happened! and there were complications, then.. present n everything. so lame lah! i went to citylink to buy the present, then.. went back to cityhall mrt to take e train to bugis.. sway sway exactly at e instant i was waiting 4 e train, dina sha n pa reached cityhall! i panic n was hiding behind the pillar! both of us wer on e left of the station! hten i tell dina tt im at the left, she blur blur one! i was so scared tt we will accidentally bump into each other! coz i was supposed to be meeting my "friend" anyway, after tt i screwed up at the part where supposed drag away dina n pa to sign the card then got caught by nisha! the gig was up! argh! =/ after tt we got cheated by the western restaurant we ate at! we watched step up.. duno why everyone said tt its nice.. but.. a tad boring.. to me.. at parts.. was stiffling yawns.. perhaps its just coz im tired..

after tt went for family gathering... steamboat at grandma's place...

today, claz outing at sentosa! then i put so much sunblock yet still same degree of tannedness as my friend who never put sunblock but sun tan lotion! argh! i cant bear the thought of what would have happened if i didnt put any sunblock at all! ahhh! then we went vivocity for the first time! sooo cool! omg omg omg! so huge! alth not so many ppl turned up for claz outing, n we didnt go anything very interesting or particularly excititng, but.. duno why time seemed to pass really quickly.. and i was happy.. :) took alot of super lame silly pictures and made alot of stupid scandalous comments... and austen is so going to be a future gp teacher! haha..

listened to lc's mp3 on e way home.. noisy.. but nice! n very very peifu the guitarists! sound so good lahhh.. listen until fell asleep... haha..

Hey! A's are FINALLY OVER!

getting that kind of wierd feeling. like. hmmm. kinda lost coz no more studying. personally im estatic tt i dun have to crack my brain anymore but then.. it gets wierd at times...

oh! so many things have happened recently! omg omg omg!

claz outing at MARINA SQUARE again! the guys are like totally addicted to tt place or sth! after tt we went to play MAFIA (so secret cult gathering like) and the guys had GUY talk at the esplanade rooftop.. met shunfa on train he passed me ticx (so illegal transaction like) then i met hm 2+ to borrow pa's clothes n stuff like tt then he nearly got stranded in sg! so sorry! tkx again!

sat we went CLUBBING! at club momo! dance until so tired xia! dinaaa!! must dance lehh! you only wana do the wave only. bleahx! stayed there till like 5am duno y the club never close so we go sg river to wait for 1st train to start and eat bei bei mian! :D then pa n dina came up with a new rule of 3 for me.. KIMBERLYN'S ULTIMATE RULE OF FLOATATION. need i elaborate? sth about floating ice lemon FISH and how you should conduct experiments by throwing ourselves into sg river and using SPLENDINI as the control. haha! oh! and b4 tt me n nana went HAIR DYEing (and eyebrow plucking) a total of 4 ppl have noticed my eyebrows! (in this order, dina [coz she went with me] mf, gor, dad) =D hmmm..

i worked last sunday at MM! banquet! Mf gave me a crash course on tt day itself, then the table we waited on rated our service as excellent all the way! i was so happy! :D then gor treated us to statay and sent us home.. thanks gor.. :)

met jon at banquet.. so.. hmmm... =X 'Army' strengh is back up to 3 ppl...

monday went running with loke.. erm.. he's quite nice.. but too quiet and go with the flow kind.. it nearly drove me insane.. too much like no 1.. alth eventually he did talk enough for acceptable standards but i hate having to guide / drive the conversation along.. normally sooner or later i just give up trying to..

i went 'job hunting' with jy today. we ended up watching MOVIE, the covenant, (not bad a bit scary) and SHOPPING! (for her clothes for her bro's wedding) omg shopping with her can VOMIT BLOOD one! she everything also say ex one! argh! then she find this shirt she find nice, straight away buy without looking at price! after discount still $26 xia! and to think tt she say buy shirt 3 for $10 then normal price! so contradicting xia! good thing got carpy along to balance out the disprecancy about her views on what is cheap and not so.. not tt vomit blood.. But it still was fun! :D

and i repaired carpy's guitar! fellow guitarist! :D any takers out there willing to play with me? we shall set up a band ya! with lead singer nisha, violinist dina and fellow guitarist eunice! all we need now is drummer, keyboardist and bass guitarist.. hmm

non - stop phone conferencing recently! see? my besties so impt to me! i rushed home after all my activities so can conference with you guys leh! touched? youshould be! otherwise id be me n not be home till like 12+ again! haha!

eh! enough about the I AM FEI I AM FEI I AM FEI already. :P i know you are 'fei' dun need to announce it! jkjk lah! haha. very lame leh! you say like tt i really want to laugh!

Sha sha cheer up kaeee!

Xiaomei I WANT MY BROTHER IN LAW ASAP!!! =p

guess what? i have a step mum! omg omg omg omg! but no siblings! i was so devastated when i heard the news! not that i had a step mum.. that i dun mind.. im happy coz he's happy and im happy coz its the same person, so i know tt he's finally found soemone to be true to and with for the rest of his life.. the REAL the ONE.. so happy ya.. cant wait to meet her this sat.. but.. I WANTED TO BE A BIG SIS! WAAAAA! WHERE ART THOU LONG LOST SIBILINGS?

looks like its just me up against the world again.

today i saw a brown jacket with orange bands. i couldnt help myself. i held it's sleeve and stared hard at it. reminicising. a time when i wore your jacket and how its sleeves drooped a hand's length below my fingertips. searing warmth. your esparating lazyness that you'd rather take a taxi for 2 busstops then walk, that sheepish look whenever i teased you, your litter bug and bad boy tendencies, the inexhaustable flow of curious questions, the way you looked when you were jealous, how you always had something to say, how you always stuck to your values and that we adhered to the same code of conduct and moral law, that glint of childlike innocence shining brightly in your eyes inspite of your experience, that silly carefree smile. and how i loved the way you seemed to take life so lightly, like it was a brilliantly wonderful game..

sometimes even happy memories can make a person sad sometimes...
So i'll keep them here so i wont have to store them within me..
and then i can go back to being happy again..

im ok.
=)
dontchaworryaboutathing

heard this on e radio..

Do you ever wonder What sky I'm lying under Do you ever think of me Does your heart remember How we used to feel When it used to think of me All I need to know When you're on your own Do you miss what might have been World don't stop turning Stars don't stop falling down In my world of make believe Do you ever think of me We got different stories And all our never endings now Even thought your heart is free Still my heart wont let me be Do you ever think of me So we're on different shores Do we just drift away Do the memories fall Like a driving rain All I need to know When you're on your own Do you miss what might have been World don't stop turning Stars don't stop falling down In my world of make believe Do you ever think of me We got different stories And all our never endings now Even thought your heart is free Still my heart wont let me be Do you ever think of me
-antony costa

last night i dreamed of you

it was you it was you it was you

not 1 not 2

but you.. =)

Its me!

im supposed to be studying physics

chinese paper at 4.45pm

absolutely no mood! argh!

online looking for guitar tabs instead

sick of playing the same old songs already

The other day d said :"i duno y it still feels like u r still with him coz i never see him b4"
Then hz said "i dream tt u n him back 2 gthr"

argh! no! id KILL myself first..

yeah. sometimes id miss em sometimes.
But ill never go back. The first is too painful. The 2nd would be destroying beautiful memories.

Move up and on!

Im so over you already.

=p

Everyone, thanks 4 everything.. :)

Yesterday you walked out of my life.
I feel really sad but quite relieved at the same time.
Im free again!
Yeah. Bad timing x2.
But there's many things in life that you cant choose or cant decide where or when or change
Oh well.
I dont feel that sad already.
But the pain of being alone just eats away at me sometimes.
At least it was fun while it lasted.
And the singing and the guitar playing and the movie marathons and the late nights and the non stop absurb comments and jay zhou songs and all that
Good memories last forever right?
And we never argued or anything.
Feelings die sometimes.
Alth urs died unusually fast,
Mine will die sometime soon.
But its strange
coz its nearly not there anymore
Friends. =)
And your happiness.
Thats enough for me.

I never fall for the same guy twice.
Now ivh got a 2nd policy.
Ill never go steady with the same guy twice.

2nd ex le! how many more to go until i find him?


Back to playing the "game"
But first, studies.
Oh why cant the period of time when i attain the "star" like in supermario last a longer time?

But sometimes stars hurt to hold on to


Rule of thumb
1) never date the same guy more than 3 times
2) never stay with the same guy more than 1 month
3) never ever ever say i love you face to face (phone/sms/msn excluded) unless you really mean it
Otherwise it's just cruel to him if you never really felt anything for him at all.

no way november will see our goodbyes
when it comes to december its obvious why
no one wants to be alone on christmas time
Come january we're frozen inside
making new resolutions a hundred times
feburary wont you be my valentime
And if our always is all that we gave
and we some day take that away
it will be alright,
if its just till st'patricks day

Now to get back to living.
Freedom! =D

Everyone, thanks for the support and everything.. :) u guys re e best! Esp my besties n family members. *hugz*

Omg. i just heard this on the radio (not exact words but somthing along these lines):

2 'honkees' speaking in slang

A:The subario challenge ah, i teach you how to last long long time.

B:ya! must teach! they like giving up! so sad right?

A: I teach you ah, firstly its in the mentality. If it's your car, you wont let go of your car right? If you are holding ar, a $10000000000 note of coz you dont let go right?

B:ya loh ya loh! alot of money leh! then then?

A:2nd, its meditation. Calm yourself by saying OMMMMMM..

B:some how will become very calm and can last very long!

A:3rd, its tried n tested by generations! my wife taught me n she learnt it from her mother which is my mother in law and my mother in law learnt it from her mother which is my grandmother in law and it's very very effective!

B:Wah? so effective? what is it?

A:You know ah, you take the ginsesing, and the sesame paste, and you mix it. Then you rub it all over. After tt you will go numb and then can last long long time!

B:???

A:sure make your wife very happy one!!

B:??? are you sure we are talking about the same thing?

A:ya what!

B:subario challenge leh!

A:what subario challenge? aiyoh!

....

(ok a bit ra lah but i burst out laughing when i heard the part about making your wife happy. So ambigious! coz if you last long long and win the car sure make your wife happy one! :p )

Been having wierd dreams recently...

I was doing maths before i fell asleep the other night. Drew so many e^x graphs that i dreamt of them! omg! its like damn wierd lah. Everyone went around carrying "weapons" shaped like an e^x graph. Then the power of your weapon is dependent on the variable X. Because it varies exponentially, (it's a throwing weapon), the amount of damage inflicted increases exponentially with the distance the weapon is thrown. Like a boomerang, it will return upon hitting (or missing) the target. Then here comes the intersting part of the dream. At first everything was fine n dandy with the weapons getting more powerful the further away you were from the enemies. Then some idiot had to cast a 'reflect' spell on us then the weapon became configured to e^-x and then you had to throw the damn thing backwards to inflict damage or else it would be damage below 1 (think transformation of curves)

Argh! i think i have been doing too much maths recently. or at least too much graph sketching. Like. omg i was so mad when i checked the tys and realised tt past 3 years never come out graph sketching questions le! duno if still will come out anot? haiyo!

Then i had the wierd dream of a room, filled with nothing but brown wood cabanets, of hundreds and hundreds of drawers. And every single drawer had a filing system, neatly alfabetically categorising every single "basic necessity" humans require. Just a huge white room with drawers. Queer. As usual, curiousity got the better of me and i started opening EVERY SINGLE drawer to see it's contents. I think i started off in the middle.. remember seeing C-candles. Then when i opened drawer B, ahh! there were little bottles of none other then BEER! a whole cute adorable box the size of my palm with quaint bottles the combined width and lenght of 2 fingers! omg! i was estatic in my dream! then ??? had to come and drag me away to do some chore and i never got to go back to that drawer and then i woke up. haiz.

Later tt night i watched news and there was a report on BEER POISINING! omg! they put some disinfectant that works as an addictive in the drink and now people are dying of it! i think 26 ppl have died from the poison! symptoms include lethargy, yellowed eyes and .. hmm.. cant remember..

I learnt that horse+donkey=mule
but mule+mule = 0 because they are sterile!

GP paper is this thursday. Running out of time! so stressed! It's a "make it or break it" situation. All or nothing. Im so scared. I visited a friend's house the other day and i just realised tt everything is as it is from 5 years ago. even the secondary school course cert on the table. It scares me. What if life comes to a standstill like my friend's has sort of did? What if i dont move on?

Good luck everyone!!

Nobody gona love me better, i must stay with u 4 eva
nobody gona take me higher, i must stay with you
you know how to appreciate me, i wana stay with you my baby
nobody ever made me feel this way, i'll stay with you..
I miss you so much i ache all day long..

Random thoughts

Someone said : keep your friends close and your enemies even closer for when revenge comes it will be sweeter

Thanks for the concern, but i dont think prayers will work on a non-beliver. And i lost my faith a long long time ago. Melodrama i hope never to be repeated in this life.

I heard a song on the radio that goes sth like "Rain outside my window, pouring down, What now, ur gone, too late, to turn it around.. sorry for the tears i made you cry.. you made it clear when you said, Baby i dont care if its right or wrong, i just dont love you no more"

Am i wrong for 'playing' with someone just because im really bored in the wee hrs of the night?

Familiarility brings about this sense of dejavu. i know im supposed to act but im too stumpted by the onslaught of emotions. It just confuses me more.

Will this be the same as with hamsters? Once you have had too many and the last takes on qualities of the first and you mix them up? And you love them as if they are one but in actuality they are not?

I know its wrong but i cant help the way im feeling. Im in the wrong but i cant control these emotions that are welling up and threatening to flow over.

I told you im confused. Im confused and the confusion is threatening to take over. I want to run away and hide. But you will be gone so soon i cant afford any time to do that.

Truth be told, im sick and tired of being a good girl.


See what kind of wierd thoughts too many maths problems dredge up in your mind?

Hey! im back on! =D internet connection is FINALLY working again! :) didnt get any faster though. :(

A levels are in like a weeks time! omg! so scary! good luck!!!

I STILL WANA PLAY POOL! WAAA...

Dont you ever scare me like that again! i turned off my phone coz i wanted to be alone. Though when i do on my phone again i have resolved to apologise to you but whether i get mad again after tt or not depends on the messages recieved when my phone is off.. Or the lack of it..


Hey im this guy! at frist i was WTH? then i re-read some of my ans.. and its like.. ok.. true.. But at least i dont get leg cramps whenever i see someone i like! :p but me? serious? Hmmm..


Which FF Character Are You?

Im balmy
im sitting at e library coz i couldnt stay at home
lied to mum tt im meeting dina n pa when i wasnt
didnt meet them
called them but decided not to meet them after all
So near yet so ....
really.. dun want lah.. very bright.. >_<

Lets see. today before tt i met dear to watch deathnote! ^^ nice show! I SUPPORT L! ^^ light is evil... he killed his gf! argh! Sorry grandma grandpa pa n ma i know supposed to watch with u guys but.. erm.. 20th is e special day so.. i go with him? sorriee! actually wanted to join u guys for dinner but i was really tired then i fell asleep.. i wake up le u guys started eating without me le.. i still join for what? ....

backdating:
Class outing on last day of school! ^^ friday 13th! fun! we played silly games like swap bag and pretend to be tt person as long as you are carrying tt person's bag. Then anyhow start very scadalous rumours about tt person by being that person n doing scandalous things while carryign tt bad! lameee! haha.. after tt we went marina sqaure to bowl. Actually went nearer (yishun) but.. but.. CLOSED FOR RENOVATIONS! XIANZ!! ate dinner at marina square food court with nice view, (enhuo looked so much like a retired man enjoying his green tea and the view! so funny!) and told alot of stupid lame things, then went home by bus n Eh sent me home coz i fell asleep past his stop n i guess he didnt have the heart to wake me up just yet. i feel bad! thanks!

Im on! after dragging the com out to the living roon so tt i could plug it into the socket there JUST to do this stupid personal statment. Honestly i dont have a clue on what to write! omg! somebody save me!

So i went around instead doing tests to identify my personal qualities..

This is me?

Im an ENPF !


Your Type is ENFP
Extroverted Intuitive Feeling Perceiving
Strength of the preferences %
33 12 50 11

http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/JTypes3.asp

http://typelogic.com/enfp.html

ENFPs are friendly folks. Most are really enjoyable people. Some of the most soft-hearted people are ENFPs.
ENFPs have what some call a "silly switch." They can be intellectual, serious, all business for a while, but whenever they get the chance, they flip that switch and become CAPTAIN WILDCHILD, the scourge of the swimming pool, ticklers par excellence. Sometimes they may even appear intoxicated when the "switch" is flipped.
One study has shown that ENFPs are significantly overrepresented in psychodrama. Most have a natural propensity for role-playing and acting.
ENFPs like to tell funny stories, especially about their friends. This penchant may be why many are attracted to journalism. I kid one of my ENFP friends that if I want the sixth fleet to know something, I'll just tell him.
ENFPs are global learners. Close enough is satisfactory to the ENFP, which may unnerve more precise thinking types, especially with such things as piano practice ("three quarter notes or four ... what's the difference?") Amazingly, some ENFPs are adept at exacting disciplines such as mathematics.
Friends are what life is about to ENFPs, moreso even than the other NFs. They hold up their end of the relationship, sometimes being victimized by less caring individuals. ENFPs are energized by being around people. Some have real difficulty being alone , especially on a regular basis.
One ENFP colleague, a social worker, had such tremendous interpersonal skills that she put her interviewers at ease during her own job interview. She had the ability to make strangers feel like old friends.
ENFPs sometimes can be blindsided by their secondary Feeling function. Hasty decisions based on deeply felt values may boil over with unpredictable results. More than one ENFP has abruptly quit a job in such a moment.

General: ENFPs are both "idea"-people and "people"-people, who see everyone and everything as part of an often bizarre cosmic whole. They want to both help (at least, their own definition of "help") and be liked and admired by other people, on bo th an individual and a humanitarian level. They are interested in new ideas on principle, but ultimately discard most of them for one reason or another.
Social/Personal Relationships: ENFPs have a great deal of zany charm, which can ingratiate them to the more stodgy types in spite of their unconventionality. They are outgoing, fun, and genuinely like people. As SOs/mates they are warm, affectionate (lots of PDA), and disconcertingly spontaneous. However, attention span in relationships can be short; ENFPs are easily intrigued and distracted by new friends and acquaintances, forgetting about the older ones for long stretches at a time. Less mature ENFPs may need to feel they are the center of attention all the time, to reassure them that everyone thinks they're a wonderful and fascinating person.
ENFPs often have strong, if unconvential, convictions on various issues related to their Cosmic View. They usually try to use their social skills and contacts to persuade people gently of the rightness of these views; his sometimes results in their negle cting their nearest and dearest while flitting around trying to save the world.Work Environment: ENFPs are pleasant, easygoing, and usually fun to work with. They come up with great ideas, and are a major asset in brainstorming sessions. Followthrough tends to be a problem, however; they tend to get bored quickly, especially if a newer, more interesting project comes along. They also tend to be procrastinators, both about meeting hard deadlines and about performing any small, uninteresting tasks that they've been assigned. ENFPs are at their most useful when working in a group w ith a J or two to take up the slack.
ENFPs hate bureaucracy, both in principle and in practice; they will always make a point of launching one of their crusades against some aspect of it.

The Champion Idealists are abstract in thought and speech, cooperative in accomplishing their aims, and informative and expressive when relating with others. For Champions, nothing occurs which does not have some deep ethical significance, and this, coupled with their uncanny sense of the motivations of others, gives them a talent for seeing life as an exciting drama, pregnant with possibilities for both good and evil. This type is found in only about 3 percent of the general population, but they have great influence because of their extraordinary impact on others. Champions are inclined to go everywhere and look into everything that has to do with the advance of good and the retreat of evil in the world. They can't bear to miss out on what is going on around them; they must experience, first hand, all the significant social events that affect our lives. And then they are eager to relate the stories they've uncovered, hoping to disclose the "truth" of people and issues, and to advocate causes. This strong drive to unveil current events can make them tireless in conversing with others, like fountains that bubble and splash, spilling over their own words to get it all out.

Champions consider intense emotional experiences as being vital to a full life, although they can never quite shake the feeling that a part of themselves is split off, uninvolved in the experience. Thus, while they strive for emotional congruency, they often see themselves in some danger of losing touch with their real feelings, which Champions possess in a wide range and variety. In the same vein, Champions strive toward a kind of spontaneous personal authenticity, and this intention always to "be themselves" is usually communicated nonverbally to others, who find it quite attractive. All too often, however, Champions fall short in their efforts to be authentic, and they tend to heap coals of fire on themselves, berating themselves for the slightest self-conscious role-playing.

True true? Yes no? Hmmm... I find the 1st and 2nd quite true? Hmmm..

Wont be coming back on till phone line is properly fixed. After this im gona lug the computer back. Too tiring to lug it out again.

Been suffering from non-stop dejavu. Everything just seems to have happened before! like at my cousin's wedding, tt happened before but it couldnt have coz her bf was there n had NEVER seen him at all before tt? So was it a dream or did it really happen before?

Wah your eyes so sharp take bus still can spot me walking with my classmates to cwp. Relax, he's nothing more than a friend. Dear. haiz. Im still in -=SOB=- (state of bliss) But im sad coz i cant seem to find any time for you.. so sorry.. Get well soon! must must must must! and good luck!!

Jiayo eveyone for coming A's and those currently suffering from exams!

Friday the 13 is the last day of school. No lessons. But. haiz. is this good or bad?

Ivh sent the cop record! now to get back to hw...

Heaven is what ivh found in your arms..

25/sept/06
I went nanyang JC today for chinese orals! the place was DAMN CHIO lah!! and im sick of elaborating what happened there already so you can like forget about me repeating again lah. haha.

27/sept/06
Haha. i know sum 1 only got to spend 2 hrs with him while i had practically half a day. Happy! The hims i am refering to are not the same person so dun misunderstand! But dear, i miss you already! im so sorry i cant spend more time with you.. :(

29/sept/06
Mr ang got no social life tts why he makes us stay back so late on fridays! argh! *grumbles* but i know he has our best interests at heart so somewhere really really deep down inside i thank him. it;s like omg close to 7pm when we left! i rushed home to change so tt i could meet dina (my official shopping advisor) to shop for clothes for my cousin's wedding. Thanks a million! *hugz* :) we got distraced at the pasarmalam by all e pretty stickers so i came home kinda late. haha.

30/sept/06

Lavania got married! and i met my "cousins in law" haha! :) justin reminds me of Yihao i duno why. Perhaps it's the half cynical half joking look he faces the world with or the fact that he seems to know it all. Justin = Deb's Bf, not Justin my cousin. Oh ya! and i talked to Justin (my cousin) about uni. Turns out he's quite nice and in psychology too! omg!!!

1/oct/06
Happy birthday mummy! :) The "new" Tv came today! finally i can see colour again and everything doesnt look like it's straight out of Third person shooter game Constantine when he goes to hell. Sheesh. but the bright colours hurt my eyes. But. COLOUR! ^^ thank you aunty anna for passsing us the tv! (now ivh got itching to play legend of mana coz now can see colour but.. this is like really bad timing.. )

Im sorry i didnt ans your calls or reply your sms. i really didnt see! sorry sorry sorry. My friends still complain tt i take forever to reply their sms. But at least now they joke : last time hor, i sms you, you fastest, take one day to reply! Now arh, i know u must check hp so faster a bit. But still very slow leh! Then id reply : last time one day, now at least one hr lah! improvement leh! :P But one hour wasnt enought for you. You were still uneasy. Im sorry.. Its wierd coz i didnt put silent mode but i still didnt hear anything. haiz.

i resolved to be the best for you that i could be. But now i feel my resolve weakening. It's so hard. Sometimes i just wana break away and ignore that phone for the rest of the day. But i cant.

Dear why are you so insecure? Iregardless of the many times must i remind you that there's no one more important to me in this whole wide world then you?

Love love love love da de da dum

Ill say it a million times if i must then. I love you i love you i love you i love you!

But i cant seem to find any time for you.

Haiz. Im sorry.

Yesterday we had fun fun fun! ^^

Went to some anime fest thinge at Nanyang academy of fine arts, watched free 1st esps for quite a bit. Ate 'famous' wonton mee at sunshine plaza recomended by Yihao before we headed off to his house to play ps2. silent hill! scary! that eye! omg!

Dina n Jy had to rush off so 3 of us headed off to amk to send them off. After tt me Sf & Yihao very bored. Then we went to NUTC to buy stuff for dinner to cook! ^^ we cooked curry! Yihao is my cooking shifu! ^^ kewll! i dabaoed some for (actually for dear but didnt get to pass to him) and mum but think it has gone bad from sitting in e fridge too long already. Dina and JY, see what you missed out on! :p

Nearly didnt make it back home! coz Yihao's Xbox 360 too chio le! the graphics ah! wa... *blown away* Took cab back instead. Yihao N sf very evil keep on distracting me from going home! bleah!

How to take new pictures when i spend almost all of my time with you? :p Nvm this friday i took lotsa pics let u see next time.

Hey! prelims are FINALLY OVER!

Mum is my hero! ^^ house was invaded by wasps (while i was bathing) so i ended up running (stark narked but with towel) from toilet to toilet but the wasps kept on following the light! in e end i was too scared to on the lights! Mum went into battle fully clad in armor (gloves, broom and dustpan) and battled fiercely against the 4 fearsome wasps, and won! my hero! ^^
I was so scared of them lah. Their wings were 3/2 the size of their body! so creepy! >_<

Yesterday was soooo busy! chem paper in the morning, then went with claz to eat breakfast at cwp (guys ate in school) then off to woodlands sports hall to play badminton! after badminton me sandesh austen rushed back to school for mothertongue exams in a cab. Cab fare was affordable. $1.20 each! ^^

After tt me n austen rejoined the claz at banquet (so sad horizon closed on 11sept. Not terrorist bombing! for renovations) and i ate cockles fried quaytiao and it improved! not soggy this time very nice! =) played so many rounds of mafia and silly name games. You two piece chicken meal! so funny! When mr ang came we went to watch 'THE HOST' a 'horror' movie. it was nice! maybe coz it actually had a storyline and was funny with loveable characters. not like those silly horror shows where EVERYBODY exept for the main characters die and not much character development and the side characters are actually calafare in disguise just WAITING to be picked off by the ghost/monster/murdurer. Shant spoil the story here.

Went mac to eat 'supper' was sooo full! then after tt leaving xubin really come and find me at mac! i was like joking then he really come and find! after tt i quickly sms hong tell her not to misunderstand! ahhh! mr ang saw! im so going to get roasted! when i was "zhaoing" still can hear him saying "new one ah?" good thing hong stand up for me say "no think friends only"

What happened after tt, is for me to know and you not to find out! :P

Today i went shopping with dina at PS. ^^ after tt i went for lessons at cwp, n dina went home. After tt i went for dinner and movie with DD. :)

Got things i wana blog about! but! i cant! argh!

Last but not least, and most importantly,
20sept2006
I feel like ivh finally found something i'd lost a long time ago.
Or that im finally home.
happy.
:)

Ghost bug?

There's this bug in my sink. It's kind of pathetic. Feel sorry for it though. Tried to rescue it with a bit of tissue paper but i think i scared it then it stopped moving. So i gave up. I think it fell in but it couldnt climb out coz the sides are too slippery and so it just goes round and round and round while waiting for it's wings to dry. Once or twice it disappeared down the drainage then i thought "aww so poor thing it drowned" but it reappeared. Then i just saw it again! turns out tt mum didnt see it though. i rubbed my eyes then it was gone! now im wondering if im hallucinating or is it the ghost of the bug haunting me 4 not bothering to rescue it e other night. sheesh.

Wierd dreams yet again. This time there was alot of blood! So wierd. Things kept on getting killed, people getting run over, accidents happening, breakdowns, and people carried on like them happening so often was part of everyday life! the most sickening part was when i was on the bus and the bus went over two people who just had to be sitting in the middle of the road. I got off the bus, ran and didnt want to look back at the red seeping out onto the road. Or when i ran under the HDB flat and someone threw a flower pot down. Or the cat that attached itself to me and tried to claw me to death. And in my dream i pulled it off and had to hammer it unconscious. I feel so bad. In the dream i was nonchalant. Either him or me. Or the person throwing himself off the top of the multistorey carpark. Or the car in the carpark that broke down. It's gas leaked everywhere. I dont know. It's just so macabare and sinister. The next thing you'd know there'd be gremlims running around every where shrieking terribly. I woke up shaking terribly. Perhaps it was over studying for maths. Perhaps it was beacause i missed someone. Or perhaps it was withdraw symptoms coz i forgot to take my medication. again. Now see what happens when you dont complete your dosage of antibiotics?

I still wana watch "red tape"

Your eyes have a story that they wish to tell
But I have my whole life and ill listen well
Look ill be your confidant, tell me anything
But please start it off with how you tuck your wings..
There's nothing else that i have seen
There's no getting around it or inbetween
You're out of this world except tt you're not green
You dont know just what you mean to me..
But then again, im not sure what you mean to me myself too.
You confuse me do you know what?

Restating Self resolution! i must keep my promise! I gotta make it till the end of this year! till after a levels!

Your words are like the sweetest music to my weary ears. Im sick and tired of your melodramatics.

Personal statement: I dont make promises that i cant keep
Re-draft: I dont make promises because im bad at keeping them.

Girls saying "Ultiamtum's the way"
But you'd probably take that just wrong
Now i gotta decide
if im to help change your mind
Seems like the ultimatium's on me
that's no fun
I was just walking that day aimlessly

What's Ultimatium? ~just some song running through my mind..

Well i woke up this morning with a smile on my face
woohoo
and no body's gona bring me down today
woohoo
Ivh been feeling like nothings been going my way, lately
But then i decided right here n now tt my outlooks gona change..

At least that's how the song goes.. But life isnt always like that really..
First, was chem paper n maths paper. I dont even want to think about what kind of marks ill get. i seriously duno. >_<
Secondly, bubble tea! waaa! i buy 1 cup then i dropped it! then it cracked and spilt everywhere. And they never give me new cup. Went to coldstorage then no snow-chip-chipsmore. went home depressed.

Oh well.
Anyway i did wake up with a smile on my face today.
Was it coz of you coz of you coz of you?
Smile people smile! :)

im sleepy! but i havnt time to sleep yet.

Recently celebrated Dina's birthday at eastcoast. Thanks 2 everyone 4 making this possible! W/o u guys the celebration wouldnt have been possible! i hope she enjoyed it! happy belated bithday again! ^^ i wont blog about it coz im sure tt u guys can read everyone else's who went blog about it. Just 1 high note. TIBS BUS DRIVER YOU RULE! thank you for the free ride home for 9 desperate people (majority of which being woodlanders) stranded at eastcoast that night!!! thank you thank you thank you!!!

Oh ya! the day b4 was guangsheng's birthday! happy belated bithday to u too!

Guess what? i discoverd the cause of my allergies! and its depressing!

I am so TOTALLY allergic to metal. Doctor says tt i cant wear cosmetic jewllery. Can only wear chains tt are gold or very PURE silver. Xianz. Then he said tt my bf sure very broke. HaHah! :P Think im alergic to duno what impurity or sth. haiz. Then i cant sweat also. otherwise will get allergic reaction.

So sad! Steve Irwin died! my condolences..

I support Johonathan from singapore idol! ^^ anyways before tt johonathan was my personal fav guy name (until i actually met someone called johonathan who changed my impression of tt name but oh well) So dont blame me for name biasedness here! :p

I want Vincent's book "10" Supposed to have lots of nice pics of him inside! (*-*.) <-- the dot is drool

I watched "I am Sam" the other night. Couldnt stop crying! so embarassing! i duno why! esp when my mum had to come to stare at me (irritating. bleah) i was so embarassed i coverd my head with a pillow and chased her away. But i duno why i found the show very touching. Perhaps its coz it hits a place very close to where my heart is.

Im scared. Every single thing he says/does it's terribly sweet and nice and im happy to hear from you at times but .. and i wonder if i should feel anything at all. I force myself to remember what it was the first time and i remembered feeling. But.. but.. This confusion just makes me want to run away.
Maybe he's just interesting but not interesting enough and ill get bored of him after a while. Just like i always do.
But i never got bored of you before.. And hearing from you makes me feel terriably guilty..

How to juggle 3!?! how to juggle 3?!
Step right up! no ladies yes gentlemen, step right up!
hurry hurry it's a once in a lifetime opportunity!
It's completely free of charge for this limited time only!
Just remove it from the left of your chest,
place it on the podium over there.
And watch me break it.
So said the clown in the book

There's just something macabre and sinister about that picture

Izit just me or is everyone having wierd dreams now a days?
I had a dream too.

Green grass star blazing night sky
A multitude of wings.
They hovered above me.
Flapping incessantly
Droning on and on.
drowning out my thoughts.
The moonlight slid over
Bird , sparrow, pidgeon, duck, gossomer, butterfly, moth.
(So CG like. I was still wondering in the dream what kind of crazy person would make such a horrible game.)
Then i realised i was in the "game"
I tried to stand to run away.
But i was bound by iron chains to the ground.
The iron burns. It seared into my skin.
Then a really long and green-purple-blue peacock feather hued winged one swept towards me. It fell out of the night sky. Spiraling down slowly.
I totally flipped. Never saw anything so scary on my life.
I ignored the buring and tried to get as far away as possible.
But still it fell closer and closer.
The wing touched my nose.
Then i woke up.

Maybe it's just the remainder of my after shock after tt irritating moth tt had to fly into my face when i was walking home the other night.. I ran all the way and straightaway hit the toilet to wash my face..

Cats cradle
Tt's my next skin's name.

Yesterday was teacher's day!

Just wana wish all e teacher's out there a
HAPPY TEACHER'S DAY!

I had so much fun! class interaction time was fun. Performances were quite good! Mr hamin plays a mean bass guitar! ^^ he's quite good! mr tommie chen played drums so enthu! so entertaining!

After school we went WenJie's house play mahjong, wordgames, card games and mafia non-stop! me n Hong n Eh n mastan n dexter dabao 4 everyone KFC 4 lunch. so fun! ^^Wenjie's house like provison shop got so much tibits but no water! waaa! his cup metalic one at first i thought ok but i really cant stand the taste of iron in my water. bleah. good thing hong share with me her water bottle n i drank 4m tt instead. stayed there till 9.20++ reach home 10++ in e end never conference! im so sorry!

Im so sad! i 'fake' hu 4 e 2nd time in my life! i still remember 1st time was when they were still teaching me! so paiseh! >_< The way dexter played very skill, but Eh was good he kept on winning!

Now i know masthan cant really lie! Now i know the look on his face when he's being accused wrongly! im so sorry masthan 4 not trusting u! =(

Feel bad coz i was mafia then i had to lie tt im not mafia or else they catch me so i put on inncoent look then Lc believed me then i feel so bad! coz he was the only one who believed in me alth all e rest knew tt i was e maifa! so sorry for lying to u!

Wilson you were HILAROUS. couldnt stop laughing at him. he's so funny! Then he's so white keep on turning red!

Elaine was so serious! cant tell if she's lying or not! O_O

Hong poor thing! keep on getting 'Killed first'

WenJie, thanks again 4 letting us go to your house! ^^ yeah!

Good luck to everyone for prelims! mug hard people! MUG!

~Maow

Today...

I had GP exam..

I did mad shopping for teachers day..

I got irritated by a person i never knew could irritate me. His behavior was just so.. reminiscent of another's tt he reminded me of tt person, irriated me with his behavior and irratated me with tt person also..

When you came in i brust into a smile. Quickly burried it. Silly me.

And i gave my teacher his present.. Scare me! WeiJie tease him say dun cry then he look like really going to cry! ahh! Oh! and during the session, teacher said tt im better then WeiJie! :P

I did sth quite silly. Haha. Now nisha, you'vh seen WeiJie. So that's what his name is. lol. Anyway, there's nothing scandalous going on. :p we both saw the girl he liked at mos. But damn! i feel so bad! he should have told me it was the girl he liked! then we would have made ourselves scarce! i feel so bad lahh!! >_< Tell her im your sister! then wont have misunderstanding le! Dont let this jepodise ur rs! fight fight fight! jiayo!! I wanted to wish you good luck, tell you tt if you like her go tell her.. But why didnt i say it?? argh! *self bish bish* Aneways, next time i should stand up for my view more and not be so wishy washy. Be firm girl! I hope miss yap likes her birthday gift. Happy be-early birthday miss yap! ^^

I tried playing at somebody i havent been in such a long time. I must say i flopped miserably.
It reminded me that... The most important thing is to be completely comfortable and at ease with each other and be able to talk about anything under the sun. I dont want to feel like im forcing myself to continuously come up with a conversation topic. I also dont want to have words drilled into my ear from your fear of silence. It is best when i feel like we can talk to each other forever and never run out of things to say. Its even better to have pieces of quiet where nobody has to say anything but im really comfortable. So most important would be the lack of language barrier and a motherload of common topics. It's in this aspect that alot of people have failed. And this failure is usually unapparent until the 2nd or 3rd time.

Words of divine consciousness; moral exaltation; lasting feelings of elevation, elation, joy; a wuickening of the moral sense, which strikes one as more important than intellectual understanding of things; an alignment of the universe along moral lines, not intellectual ones; a realisation tt the founding principle of existence is what we call love, which works itself out sometimes not clearly, not cleanly, not immediately, nontheless ineluctably.

What of God's silence?

An intellect confounded yet a trusting sense of presence and of ultimate purpose.

I can well imagine an atheist's last words: "White, white! L-L-Love! My God!"- and the deathbed leap of faith. Whereas the agnostic, if he stays true to his reasonable self, if he stays beholden to dry, yeasting factuality, might try to explain the warm light bathing him by saying, "Possibly a f-f-failing oxygenation of the b-b-brain" and, to the very end, lack imagination and miss the better story.

3 prothets were arguing over a boy who was practicing 3 religions.
The imarn said earnestly. "Hindus and Christians are idolators. They have many gods."
"and muslims have many wives," responded the pandit
The priest looked askance at both of them, "the is salvation only in Jesus."
"Balderish! Christians know nothing about religion" Said the pandit
"They strayed from god's path" said the imam
"where is god in your religion?" Smapped the preist. "You dont have a single miracle to show for it. What kind of religion is that, without miracles?"
"It isnt a curcus with dead people jumping out of tombs all the time, that's what! We muslims stick to the essential miracle of existence. Birds flying, rain falling, crops growing- These are miracles enough for us.
"feathers and rain are all very nice bue we like to know that god is truely wiht us:
"Is that so? well a whole lot of good it did god to be with you- You tried to kill him! YOu banged him to a cross with great big nails. Is that a civilised way to treat a prophet? The prophet Muhammad-peace be upon him brought us the word 0of god without any undignified nonsence and died at a ripe old age"
"The word of God? To that illiterate merchant of yous in the middle of the desert? Those were drooling epileptic fits brought on by the swaying of this camel, not divine revelation. That or the sun frying his brains!
If the Prophet-p.b.u.h-were alive, he would have choice words for you! replied the imam with narrowed eyes
Well, he's not! christ is alive, while your old 'p.b.u.h' is dead, dead, dead!
The pandit interrrupted them quietly. In Tamil he said. "The real question is, why is Piscine dallying with these foreign religions?
......

"Bapu gandhi said" all religions are true" I just want to love god" The boy blurted out.

Amusing. Y'ann Martel weaves magic. Pure, undistilled magic.

You may fancy these words as my own. Sincerest apologies for the unintended deception.

Watched 1 hr photo last night. Poor guy. Poor poor guy... haiz.. Who is he? why didnt they cover his history at all?

ivh got so many things to say..

i...

wana apologise for words that ran out of my mouth without beibg first filtered by my head.
many appologies.

remember how you got memories of the two of us mixed up just because we look about the same. That hurts whenever you say tt she did this n she did tt but it was acutally I who did it and vice-versa.

If the rumours are true, please dont mix her n her up also. I know that they really look quite the same. I cant think of anything that will hurt her more than this.

understand now why some ppl dont want their other's SS along during down time. it just wont be the same anymore

dreamt of NS. Not National service but sth else. And i also dreamt tt i met them. Ruffled their hair and made them call me Kim Jie Jie. 2 little brothers. Gripping their mecha toy in one hand and staring amsingly at me, tongue in cheek, thumb in mouth. Adorable. Is it true? Then id know that i truely wasnt alone. Even if we are only half- it's better than bearing it all by yourself. But would they accept me? Dare i ask?

feel like smacking myself. It's like one of those "what the hell am i doing? I feel damn bad lah" Then i realised.. it's actually doing you some good. You're growing up. Do me proud. :)

reminicise how wonderful the begining of last year was when it was smiply crazy coz all r Riversidians would just hang out at CWP and we didnt care which class or which clique u belonged to.

wonder if in the future IJC classes would be like tt but it seems highly unlikly coz of all thre interclass politics

marvel at how much this world has and still will change.

Finally, i..
proclaim tt I LOVE MY CLASS! 05S45 rocks! the "class outing" on friday was so nice! after dinner we just sat and chatted. Cozy. warm. blissful memory..

Good luck to everyone for GP prelims!

OMG IM SO HAPPY!

guess what? i rushed home today coz i have GP compo to e mail to my teacher by 5pm today. Then when i checked my email, i found out tt i won!! yeah!! *jumps for joy* i won an autographed CD by keane! YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH!! if not 4 my gp teacher, i wouldnt have checked then i wouldn't have known! omg! thank you thank you thank you!!! *SOB*

E class i getting addicted to MAOWs! ^^ haha! now i say got ppl saying along with me! deep ystd said tt she see gary on tv then think of me. N she also said tt she doesnt know why but she likes it when i say it! lol. come on everybody, 1, 2, 3! MAOW....

Today ShiNing came back! to Visit! KEWLL!! she's not fat at all lah! i think she grew thinner! She rebonded her hair too and she's really fair now! but it seems as if she got too used to the climate in canada. She kept on sweating here in Sg. =(

Her return reminded me of 1st 3 months n why i really loved it here in IJC back then. It was so cozy and warm like a huge big family. Best of all there were no snobs. ahh. the good old days. Then this silly song

I'm a model you know what I meanAnd I do my little turn on the catwalkYeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeahI do my little turn on the catwalk. I'm too sexy for my love too sexy for my loveLove's going to leave meI'm too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt So sexy it hurts My shirts gonna leave me

Then i thought of campfire night with the "hot guys" sent outside 4 manhunt n then they walk back in shirtless n do "interesting poses" so tt we could see who had the most armpit hair and clap accordingly! So hilarious! i still remember the "cutest" guy, had no hair at all! then when they sent him off the stage he looked kind of hurt until his friend told him what they were judging by. God, was he glad then! :p

1 day but so many things! ahh!

Im the class Snail?? O_O

-spoilt bread, childish kid, ElaineMa, KariMa, Cookie, Maow
It's Just Cool.

*thinks* *laughs* *walks away*

.....

oh no! im going to be late 2 meet Eu, Na & Sha! AHHHHH!!

You came back!

You crazy funny thing. half of the time i duno whether to laugh like crazy or stangle you! You want his no ask lah. dun give the excuse tt i want his no and tt i wana date him. :P
So embarassing! i think i went red! my ears suddenly felt very warm! yuan wang!!

It's strange to know that we have the brother of someone from "xiaoyuan superstar" in our claz. I was so NOT eyeing him! :p he's quite cute lah. But he seems so young! Either j1 or Sec3! O_O
"Wo yue kan yue shou." still say! then make me think that the more i look at him the more "cooked" he looks! Funny!
"Jie Di lian" hah! I dont mind but not more then 2 years younger! :p

So i see. We live on opposite sides of woodlands! ^^

I never realised that you were so tall! i stand behind you your shoulders were at my eye level! O_O But ur voice was really very soft leh.

Must you go?

And i still dont know your name! argh!

Oh ya! my $30 leh? forgot to say tt i charge interest!

I'vh got 5 million things to say. But im not good at saying it in chinese coz im really out of practice. So sometimes i just throw my arms up in the air, shrug and smile.

~Maow

It appears that my entry last week has sparked off some comments.
What can i say? It was just another of those hopeless "nothing's going right!" days.
Eunice says tt it seems as if i need someone. haha.
Nope nope. i dont!
I just want tt person to be happy.
Independence rocks right dina? =D

Jiayo xiaoMei! go go go! *waves pompoms in e air* "ah... young love..." *said in a sagely manner, whilst stroking a non-existant beard*

Beginings are always easy. Its keeping the standard up thats hard. Now whenever i dont practice it really shows. Seeing Cher's disappointed look makes me feel so bad! Telling myself im going to practice doubly, no triply hard! ahhh! chiong!!!

The funny thing about guys are the silly things they do or say just to make you laugh or smile. *warm fuzzy feeling* Awwww.. *pinch cheek* Its sweet. Really. Thank you. :)

Sha, Eunice, Dina, STOP CALLING HIM TT! HE IS NOT MY DEAR! ARGH! Id throw him into the Singapore river if he dares to try anything tt will lead to tt! :p

Went for drums concert sat! it was kewl! ^^ and had prata after tt! nice but ex. Then the grand rush 4 e LAST TRAIN. We made it! we got on EXACTLY e last train! =D

Scandal & Good Vibration sounds so good! ^^ *SOB* -state of bliss- (KaTana's voice is so nice!!!)

Good luck 2 everyone 4 BioChem test tmr!

BihQing, happy be-early birthday! I know its tmr!

Still lotsa sms left over 4m old bill! now u guys know the reason behind all e forwarded smses? *guilty look* haha!

Maow, Chi, MOOooooo...

i'm not alone
I wish i was
Coz then id know i was down because
i couldnt find a friend around
To love me like they do right now
They do right now

Im dizzy from the shopping mall
I searched for joy but i bought it all
it doesnt help the hunger pain
And a thirst id have to drown first to
ever satiate

Something's missing
And i dont know how to fix it
Something's missing
And i dont know what it is
And i dont know what it is
at all..

When autumn comes
It doesnt ask
It just walks in where it left you last
You never know when it starts
Until there's fog inside the glass around
your summer heart

Something's missing
And i dont know how to fix it
Something's missing
And i dont know what it is at all

I can't be sure that this state of mind
is not of my own design
I wish there was an over-the-counter test
For loneliness like this

Something's missing
And i dont know how to fix it
Something's missing
And i dont know what is is
No i dont know what it is
Something's different
And i dont know what it is
No i dont know what it is

Friends
(Check)
Money
(Check)
A well slept opposite sex
Guitar
(Check)
Microphone
(check)
Messages waiting on me when
i come home

Ivh got everything i think i need
But there's this constant battling inside
What do you think it means?


I spend all this time wandering around
Hunting for the meerest hint of your continued existance
Fools fall easily to the most obvious folly
I wish nothing but the best for you.
But with no medium to carry my wishes to you.
I too am fool
News of you worries me greatly
Be happy! PLease be happy!
John Mayer is a genius..
I couldnt have expressed this any better without borrowed use of his words
Move on. Hearing from you weekends bring me bliss but its just a broken promise.

Happy Birthday SINGAPORE!

It's national day today! "rotting" at home today coz i got alot of hw to complete. haiz.

Yesterday i went to see fireworks at esplanade! It was soo kewl!! but so crowded!

I met so many people! I met Elaine, Hongjin (05s45) and my primary school friend vanessa at e mrt station!Then i met Ah leong at esplanade itself after e fireworks! nice!

And we had the "eat noodles while squatting beside the Singapore river" experience!

I also got my new 'key chain'! ^^

*StateOfBliss*

84 more days to A levels!
*scared*

Now its D8! ^^
Damn Disgusting Devilish Dina Delightledly Deals Disdainful Death

I miss you i miss you i miss you!!!

I DONATED BLOOD TODAY!

It was soo kewl! at first it was scary, then it was interesting, then it was warm cold hard to breathe, i broke out in cold sweat, roaring in my ears, too bright then i "fainted" for the 1st time in my life! ahhh!! so kewl!!

Actually i was quite shocked tt i "fainted" Coz i didnt feel dizzy at all! until i donated finish (very kewl to see the bag filling up) then the person detach the thing 4m my arm then she said tt id better lie back, then i wondered why it was so hard to keep the world in focus. It just seemed so.. bright... It was scary 4 a bit.. Got kind of hard to breath.. I could hear the sea roaring in my ears! I kept telling myself to breath.. Coz I know silly me will forget to breath in sometimes.. haha..

Dun need to worry about me! i Si bu liao one! after 4 drinks, i was right as rain again! ^^

Thanks 4 waiting 4 me! And being there 4 me and everything!

We took pictures with the droplet of blood!

I love new experiences! ^^

Claz outing go donate blood anyone?

The ache is kinda tiresome. My heart? NO! tt doesnt ache at all . lol. It'd be absurd to think of it! perposterous! lol! Just my arm aches. lol. i can stil type (though slowly) hopefully i still can write. heh. =D

It was your presence that made things seem livelier. Every group needs one. The miscreant. The trouble maker. The one who never fails to jest with absurbities and make everyone laugh. You were hilarious. Really.

Now I understand that it is not the rush of adrenaline I get from being with you. It was the queer sadness that rested heavy in my heart with the knowledge that I most probably will never see you again.

If it is in your nature to be, speak softly to me
Then I am easily won

Pe teacher, Digital media, sports and fitness to be, good luck in your future endeavors.
Especially for your O levels
Smile

Coz thats the wicked part of you ill always remember
And your lip ring

Yes im ignoring you. Yes im mad at you. Period.

Trying to clear out inbox. this was interesting:

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't ever supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken, probably more than once, and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back. So send this to all of your friends in the next 5 minutes and a miracle will happen tonight. Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot; who calls you back when you hang up on him; who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who kisses your forehead; who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats; who holds your hand in front of his friends. Wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you. Wait for the one who turns to his friends and says, "..that's her."

Been in hiding 4 so long. heh. decided to come back and say

Hi world!

Anyways, gotta update about the missing month right?

I'vh got MANY belated wishes for the following people (and some early)

29/6: Brian (couzin)
30/6: Elaine
01/7: Parry, gor
5/7: Deepika
18/7: JingYing
19/7: Eunice (XiaoMei!), Alvin, ChuanLim
20/7: Cedric, Denise (cousin)
22/7: Deborah
4/8: Huifang (ahbu)

Happy birthday to everyone! (anymore birthdays i go broke liao. sobs. -_- )

Recently addicted to star folding! god knows why? :P

Ystd claz outing at cwp. AGAIN, v pek chek coz only 3/5 of e class showed up! 12 ppl!! 12 ppl out of 17 ppl who said tt they would appear! ahhh! anyway, it was fun N a big thanks to our civics teacher mr ang 4 treating us 2 e movie n swensens. lol. sssh. ^_^ free food!

Pirates of the carrebian was nice. but !?! why!?!? the ending like tt??? >_<

Dennis, Andy and Desiree are interesting people. heh. nice seeing you guys. hasnt been tt long yet though.

Gor's boss's kids are very cute!

Big sweet land is fun! and gor n dasao very heng keep on winning! tts what i call lover's luck! :P u guys r meant to be! dont give up whateva comes! jiayo!

Off to gor's house to play ??? game where we rapidly bash his controller's buttons to spoil his controller and win the game. lol. fun. ^^

Caught up with eunice, dina, nisha, pa to eat at pizza hut. E new "stuffed crust pizza with removable crust" is nice! yummy!

one more thing...
Im SO BROKE I COULD CRY!

Its been long.. Had school?? Just recompleted DK2. haha. gota go tend to edward now. his cage is filthy!


It shouldnt hurt.

Its been so long it shouldnt hurt

i shouldnt hurt anymore

But just for a day i let myself be vulnerable

Silly me.

It does hurt.

Dont call me. i wont answer.


Its not fair to deprive them of love just because they were from you. I deem them mine and shall lavish as much love and attention on them as i desire.

Paper houses, paper chains
Rows of paper dolls and paper frames
Fleeting visions of paper flowers
Dilligently she snips for many hours
And watch in fascination the curious way her expression sours
When ever so softly blows the wind
Her cries of dismay raise quite a din
.....
(cant figure out what follows..)


Who's gona steal me away from the world?

You're e best
You could be an angel among society
But you get crushed
From what you see
You try to hard to help
and thats enough for me
Try to change what you can
And accept all thing things you cannot
(dont stress yourself baby)
I know you wana fly away from the world
But not for all the time we'vh got
Let's take a ride
On the country side
Lets just get away
we can spent the night
till the morning light
.
.
.
Hop in e car, go with me
You dont have to pack everything
Dont you wana feel the breeze
And forget everything baby?


I need to get away from life for a while. Sorry. Inbox is full again. N wont be clearing it for some time.

Finally! E exams are over! whoop! Im so happy!

Yesterday i went to JiaYIng's house with dina to watch tsubasa & innuyasha. ^^ happy! Jy house is sooo big! and a bit old but still very very cool! ^^ duno why but i like old buildings. Oh ya! we went to her "small" plaza. It LOOKED small from outside. inside was damn big lahh!! haiyo!

Oh ya! before tt we caught a movie, just my luck at clementi cinemas. Wah. The palce was so old! it was an antique maze! so cool! those kind of old cinemas with the really scary toilets specially made for each cinema! cool!!!! Stanley joined us coz he didnt want to go home so early. At first kind of wierd coz he like "self invited himself" But we felt too bad to say no. Thought it to was an "all girls outing" coz u know us girls, we gotta go see those kinda stuff tt guys find boring like accessories n stuff like tt. Felt kinda bad for him coz after a while he was bored. But after a while, it was AOK. Maybe even more intersting coz got more people? He's an ok guy lah. Learnt more about him n his rabbit. And when he spoke of his rabbit he just "melted" Thats the no. one way to find out if ppl are ok or not. If theres 1 thing in the world tt can make them go gaga n is not a typical guy thing, he should be ok as a person. really.

Re reading my previous post, even i find myself scary. Anger is a strange thing. Would i really? When at the end of all those good guy - vs bad guy movies, if the ending is not comical towards the bad guys, i cant help but feel really really sorry for the villians in the show. A good example would have been X-men 3, the last stand, i couldnt help but feel really really sorry for magneto. N in games like FF7 and stuff like tt where you actually get to know about the "villan", his past and his history, and that he wasnt bad from the start, just corrupted, and watching their fall from such great power to this empty lonely soul, i really felt really sorry for them. I feel this desire to take them into my arms and give them a hug and tell them that "everything is gona be just fine. Dont cha worry."

Unless the villan is a faceless monster who is evil beyond recognition and salvation. Then strike you blade deep into it's core, twisting hard to break it, and feel no regret or remorse at the end of it's existence.

Today i went for a hair cut with dina. Now our hair is exactly the same length! what's ironic was that she trimmed hers by 2 inches n mine was 1 inch but i had more hair on e floor after my cut than her! O_O

Chem was A'ok. ^^ actually finished everything! ^^ but im afraid of careless mistakes..

1 more paper to go! all e way! good luck to the world!

G.S.T = Give. support. thankful. then will feel GREAT, SUPER, TERIFFIC! lol. someone's wierd nick.

Im so stark fuming mad. Im so mad im shaking inside. Its queer because it's cold but it burns. Thats it. That's the last straw! ill go become a lawyer. Then i can protect my family. No longer shall we be twittering baboons, lost and indecisive, without alternatives not because we are inferior, rather because we were ill informed. You devise to steal away everything that has become precious to me. Ill become rich and famous, then one day, i'll know enough law to twist and wrap it around my finger to fight back and sue the pants off you.

But i'll need to study so damn hard.

You may take away our livelihood, take away our material comforts, strip away what defines a normal life, but as long as i live, you will never break my spirit. I say this with as much vehemence the day you chased us out of the most precious place in the whole wide world to me. I hate you. and i still do. Where is your sense of human compassion? Inhuman, scheming, money mongering inbecils. If i could iwould comdemn a plague of locusts upon you, not to eat any of your non-existant fields, but to drain your assets. The day of your demise will be the greatest day of my life.

I am staunch believer against the users of profanity. We are all civilised people. Why degrade yourself to the standard of a babarian when you rant and rave. Dont you know how foolish you look repeating the same word over and over again, that silly meaningless 4 lettered word, an act from which humans are one of the few species to engage in and derive pleasure from. How common and imbecillic you look, how you demote yourself by advertising flamboyantly how limited your vocabulary really is?

Let's let life be more colourful. When i scold, it will be so full of "flavour" that most of it will be beyond your understanding. But then, then, the only thing that will stand between you and the epitome of my hatred would be god's saving grace.

I dont get mad often. But when i do get mad, i dont just get mad. I MAKE SURE i get even.

Now, all i gotta do is everything that i am capable of. But being 18 and looking like you are still 14 means not much.

No, dont worry. I just need to rant and rave. MAD . Ill be ok.

Remember e times when....
You were all wet and silly looking..
So i toweled you down..
And you fell asleep in my hand?

Whenever i look at anything sleeping, this overwhelming desire to risk life and limb to protect it no matter what happens, come what may. Maybe its just coz whenever anyone or anything is asleep, theres this stark look of naked vunerability stamped all over their face. Oh ya. Thats provided that i know and actually like tt person as a person. I dont feel this kind of feeling to the blangadeshi sleeping at my voiddeck during the hot afternoon. lol. But i do get tt warm fuzzy feeling looking at e adorable kitties snooze. lol.

Now i understand why there's this general trend that the eldest child is the most well behaved and the youngest is the miscreant. Its not that parents go "awwww. how cute. The younger is cuter than the older one. Lets pamper him" Ok.. maybe thats the case for some.. I find that one tires of drilling discipline in their children after a while. Perhaps life would be easier if we would just "let it be" and not constantly harp and nag and pester. Bad move. Edward is a complete spoilt brat! one day tt little un will jump to his death i tell you! *choy! choy!* *touches wood* Im always catching him whenever he "falls" so he expects my hand to "magically appear" and catch him! argh! i used to train them not to jump off high places "i trained my tortoises last time. Taught them how to look down over sharp edges. So cute they were. But edward. Haiz. After a while you just tire of the training. Just let him be. haiz.

Todays weather was DAMN HOT. no need to waste money go suana. just spend time in school hall. dots.

2 more papers to go! ^^

Goodluck! jiayo all!

Chem wad BAD. and its not like im expecting to get grades within the range of A-D. Its really really bad. >_< omg.

So tired. Tmr the mother of all exams are gona come and smack us in the face. Phy in the morning then maths! ARGH. i really cant stand morning afternoon papers. Now im alredy so drained. how to tahan tmr?

Think id better go sleep now. Pray that i pass. haha.

Oh ya!

Today bro bought lunch 4 me! a million thanks! (coz i was too lazy to leave the house n he was too free me thinks. lol.)
-eternally grateful-
No wait. Eternity ends in

3

2

1

oh. its over le. haha. next time

just wana say

GOOD LUCK TO EVERYONE 4 EXAMS! ^^

Think im going blind these days. I can walk past ppl n dont see them. Today i met crystal and kahmun! ^^ separately tt is. But they had to like do sth to make themselves REALLY REALLY obvious to me like call my name (loudly) or wave (frantically?) Maybe i should wear my glasses permanently or sth..

Or mabe im too busy wandering around, lost in a dream that will never be realised.
Im sorry but the girl you think you know died a long time ago. Along with her heart.

I wanted to blog about sth really..

Different?

Awe inspiring?

Im just sick of doing minute mundane recordings of what i have done.
bla bla bla
It's not like anyone is interested in what i do day in day of for amusement right?


When does one come to the edge of the world?
Look over the gaping hole that is nothingness
And comtemplate on whether it is actually better on the other side?
What spurs them on
To actually have the guts to
Jump.
Am i a coward,
because i like many of my peers,
have not the courage to do so?

Sometimes i wonder if my facade will crack open.
Then you will see that im someone else inside
Its ok to pretend that you know me
Because the girl you assume to know
is but another of her long practiced conceptions
yet harbour no doubt, for
I smile, not because i agree
rather, What i wear,
Is the smile of indulgence

Thursday i watched sesame street. Found it so amusing! i really wanted to stick around 4 e whole show. but had to go out to buy lunch. so. haiz.

Cherish memories for when the moment passes, that is all you will have left.
Hopes are good coz they bring the promise of something better.



Do you believe in love at first sight?
Let me tell you a story...

Somewhere on the Nonce, is a tribe of winged creatures called the Fathathai. A gentle, shy people; almost like angels. There are very few of them on the island, because they dont find love easily, and so a Fathathai wedding is a rare event. But anyway, legent goes taht there was one of these creatures by the name of Numa Child, who did fall in love.

Lucky him

Well, yes and no. You see, he fell in love with a woman he met here on the monce, called Elathuria. She was, he thought, the most beautiful woman he had ever set eyes on. There was only one problem.

What was that?

She wasn't flesh and blood as he was

What was she?

As you know, this island is home to some very strange lifeforms. And Elathuria was one of these strangeness.
She was a plant.
You think im joking?

No..

Well, ivh learned only two things in my life. One, that love is the begining and end of all meaning. And two, that it is the same thing whatever shape our souls have taken on this journey. Love is love. Is love.

Ivh had no personal experience of this. But ivh read books. And all the great ones agree with you..
Please tell me there rest of the story..

Well, wehn Numa Child first met the Elathuria she was in full bloom. She was perfection. No other words for it.

Extraordinary

It gets stranger still, believe me. Did i tell you Numa child fell in love in a heartbeat? I mean, literally. It was that fast. He saw Elathuria, and that was it. his fate was sealed.

Love at first sight?
Absolutely
Do you believe in that?
Oh, certainly. It happened to me. The very moment i set yees on the princess Boa, i knew there was no other soul i could ever love. No other to the end of the hours

Well, to continue, So Numa Child told Elathuria instantly. "Lady," he said. "i will never love anyone the way i love you." and much to his surprise, Elathuria invited him to kiss her.
"Quickly," she said. "because the sun is hot and the hour is passing"
Numa didnt think very much about the significance of this. He was simply happy to be invited to kiss his beloved. And as they kissed and talked and kissed again, the hour of the Nonce ticked away..

This isnt going to end happily, is it?

When Numa Child kissed her again, there was a little bitterness on her lips.
"Whats happening?" He said to her.
She told him : "time is passing, my beloved."

And to his horror, he saw that her blossoms, which had been so bright and beautiful when he'd first set eyes on her, were now begining to lose that brightness, and her green leaves were begining to turn gold and brown"

Finally, she said to him: "Dont leave me, love. Promise me you'll never leave. Find me again, wherever i go. Find me."

Of course, Numa didnt understand what she was telling him. "What do you mean?" He asked her.
But it soon became clear. She was leaving him. The wind had risen, and it was shaking her, the way it would shake a tree, so that it's blossoms and leaves fall, and its beauty is carried away. That was what was happening to Elathuria. She was losing her very being, right in front of his eyes. It was terrible..

Elathuria was still strong enough to speak to Numa. "look for me wherever the wind comes" she said, her voice getting more and more hushed, "I will grow again from the seed that is carried away from this place."

Numa was, of course happy to hear this. But his mind was filled with questions and doubts.

"Will it really be you?" He said to her

"Yes,"She told him. "It will be me in every particularity. Except one."

"And what's that?" Numa asked her.

" I wont remember you." She replied.

Even as she spoke these words, a breath of harsh wind sprang up and shook her violently, so that she was entirely shaken apart --"

No! had she gone?
Well, yes and no..

The wind has scattered the seeds over a considerable distance, but Numa was determined to find soem trace of her --any trace-- so he searched like a wild man, not resting, until his search was rewarded.

At last, after a long time searching for her, he finally found her, rooted in a new place. She was still growing, but he knew her immediately, and fell in love with her again, just as he had the first time."

And she with him?
Yes of course
Even though she didnt remember him?
Yes. She was still the same soul, after all. And so was he....
So history repeated itself?

Indeed it did. Not once, but over and over and over. Though Numa Child swore his undying devotion to Elathuria, the hour would always pass, and the wind would always come, and she would be carried away to some new place. Sometimes he would find her quickly, sometimes not.

And so do you really think they are still out there, loving each other, and then being separated, and him finding her again, only to be separated again?
Yes i do..
What a terrible way to love...

Love makes it's demands, and you listen. You cant bargain with it. You cant fight it. Not if it's really love.

Are you still talking about Numa child and Elathuria?

Im talking about all lovers

Ah i see...



I dont know why but this story ahd some sort of impact on me.

Soul mates? Do i believe?

If i do then i am a fool, for i have met him and left him already.


Can you find me?

Ivh been tagged!


1. Do the following without complaints
2. Choose 5 people to do this after you completed yours
3. Leave a tag on the person's tagboard to say he/she have been tagged
4. Start your post with "I have been tagged!" then do this


Favourites
favourite colour: Yellow
favourite food: Sushi / tomato based pasta / watermellon / mango pudding
favourite song: John mayer's "83"
favourite movie: Cant think of any for the moment
favourite sport: Long distance Running / Pool
favourite day of the week: Friday
favourite season: Summer. i like e sun. n sunny days. never fails to lift spirits ^^
favourite ice-cream: Erm. actually i like ALL ice cream?

Currents
current mood: Bleah. xian of exams coming.
current taste: Aftertaste of Lychee moochi in my mouth
current clothes: Shirt N shorts
current deskstop: Still picture of my class from last year at Elaine's bbq!
current toenail: Filed, deep blue wanabe
current time: Tama says its 10.01.10 Is tama accurate?
current surroundings: Com room
current annoyances: My face itches...
current thoughts: Im SOOOOOOOOOOOO sick of studying! heck! i need a life other than studying! but are we supposed to have lives this year? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooo... *fade out*

First
first best friends: Amanda & Darrini (did i spell her name correctly?)
first crush: I cant remember his name! Some cute guy from K1 me thinks.
first movie: Erm. i think it was disney.
first lie: *gives wide eyed innocent look* "no mummy i didnt forget to off the lights. It came on by itself!"
first music: Carpenters. ^^ or tt cd of dad that i 'koped' from his collection that i still have. Think its called Tennessee walts- my favourite songs


Lasts
last cigarette: Erm. har? unless you count passive smoking? like some irritating ppl who have to smoke as they walk past you then im dying from the stench..
last drink: cant remember. =p last month?
last car ride: Friday
last crush: Does tt mean the previous one or the current one?
last movie: X-Men 3: The Last Stand
last phone call: Cant rmb. The phone rings so often its irritating.
last CD played: John mayer's heavier things


Have you ever have you ever dated your best friend: Over my dead body! Thats as good as courting suicide!
have you ever broken the law: Does chewing chewing gum and watching M18 movies while you are not 18 yet and going to pub while you are not 18 yet and sitting in cars where you are not the driver but the driver breaks the speed limit count?
have you ever been arrested: Me? do crime? *gives innocent look*
have you ever skinny-dipped: If theres no one but me n e fishies 4 sure. and def not in singapore where it's illegal!! Maybe in a hottub in japan.. Hmm.. Def w/o e guys!!
have you ever been on tv: Tt time mr ang superhost tt show we go support him i got caught on camera jumping around like a bunny. so embarassing.
have you ever kissed someone you don't know: Once upon a dream. I met him eventually.


5 things you are wearing: Hair clip, clothes, undergarments? I really dislike the hassle of having to accessorise.
4 things you done today: Study, watch tv, play with tama, disturb edward.
3 things you can hear right now: The tv, some irritating ppl trying to sing on karoke, the mrt train
1 thing you do when you are bored: sleep

I cant stand guys who dont know me and call me pretty. It's pretty obvious that you want me only for looks and not me for me so you can go back and stick your head into whateva pile of mud you just crawled out from. I esp cant stand guys who keep on saying tt im pretty and they are ugly so obviously i wont accept them. for gods sake, where is your self esteem? Hello? I mean its nice to hear sometimes as a compliment, but SOMETIMES only. Say it too often and it seems as if all you ever think about of me is me being a no more than a pretty face. I especially totally cant stand guys who make cat calls when a girl walks by. for gods sake, what age are we living in?? Cant you be more civilised or sth?

I have given up trying to reason with the source of all unreason. yeah i feel said some spiteful things but i feel bad. Did you?

What happened ystd i dont wana talk about it

I need you

If i had known that you needed me too on wed id have gone to see you for sure even though it was just for an hour. But i didnt know and i still dont know. Whether you needed me or not. All i can say is im sorry. Everyone needs a hug sometimes. All you had to do was to say that you needed me.