Who you'vh always wanted to be
someone to be sensible with
Someone to admire you
Good little girl
Your sucessor to your title
Filial daughter
You can draw meh? You can draw meh? Those words you said keep running through my head. I duno why but those words hurt the most. All my life ivh always been told "wah. u can draw leh." But. You actually asked me if i can draw. You, of all people, the one ivh always looked up to, the one i depend on for my self esteem, is unaware of this so called skill of mine. Now here i stand questioning my own abilities. Can i draw? Really? Are those lines i doodle on a piece of paper really a drawing or am i disillusioned by my own overconfidence in my abilities? My head so full of air that my feet no longer touch the ground? You said that denise can draw. She's going to Lascele, school of art. You said that she can really draw. I havent seen any of her recent her drawings. All i remember is stereotypical people with symmetrical round heads and rectangular bodies fleshed out in oil pastels. And i remember my curious yet cautious disdain for her unorignaility while i harboured a secret jealousy that she was allowed to pursue her passion in an after school art workshop while i was forced into routine, mundane everyday task of chinese tuition. Keep it all inside to myself. For eternity has the mantra been imbued into the very skin that i live in that "there is no future in the arts" Keep it all inside to myself.
Im starting to find that your questions fall into a routine. Its strange to ask people of movies when you dont watch any yourself. No im not faulting you on that issue, if you didnt ask me it would be strange. But at times it just gives me a cause to wonder.
Who actually knows me for me really? Who am i really? Sharp as a knife, grumpy as hell, Bitchy as i please, Blur Sleepy JC student, Gossipy, shopaholic, happy go lucky, little dreamer, Jap fanatic, Lost little girl, needy girlfriend, comforting friend, Headstrong enemy, Contented artist, backporch poet, lovesick musician, painfully quiet and shy student, outgoing and chirpy OGL, good natured anything person, which facade of me is real? Is any of it real at all? Who knows the real me for me?
Forever the backyard porch poet, with the book of rymes, always open, knowing all the time im probably, never going to find the perfect line
For heavier things
Today i went studying with kenneth at woodlands libary after going out with dad in e morning. Thanks bro 4 e "ans sheet" ^^ When we were leaving we saw a really sad sight. OMG, what is the world coming to?
A little girl stood staring at the fountain or water sprouting out of the black hole of nothingness. Her head was cocked to one side, as if she stood marvling at the mystical wonder of the origin of the water. Then she raised her foot, and stomped on the sprout of water, as if it was a pesky bug, stomping so hard with such great force as if it was a living thing that's lifesource she wanted to extinguish.
Kenneth laughed and pointed. "thats the new sort of dictatorship this worlds' gonna get. 'Go down! i command you to go down!' *laughs manically*"
Lotsa backdating. Ya i know it;s been long but ivh been REALLY REALLY REALLY busy
2/6/06 friday
Had chemistry lecture After tt went to dina's house with amy, mf, to stone until JCS camp.
At dina's house we all got assulted by meifeng. And i think everyone needed a good dose of superglue after tt. Meifeng, i tt nice to sit on meh? O_O
JCS camp was soooooo fun! but long story and hard to describe. Very very long story. ALl i can say is tt it was damn fun and more like a chalet than anything else! we played cards e whole night and listened to music and ate chips and drank soft drinks and celebrated yihao's birthday and did stupid forefits and played with sparklers and went to rooftop and kena sprayed by shunfa with his water gun and didnt sleep a wink all night....
3/6/06 sat
2nd day of jcs camp. We lay on e stadium and stared at e clouds. so nice. ^^ sushiboy is actually quite a nice person. alth he act quite gay sometimes and talk alot. But actually he's not bad lah. he actually cleaned up while everyone was out like a light! n he's a malaysian. not tt ttt = good or tt im biased against tt. haha. After tt we went for 3d animation course at bishan cc. Erm. BLUR. first 1 hour didnt understand anything. The lecturer was VERY NICE but his accent was VERY THICK didnt understand a thing he said + our sleepyness = gone case never learn. After tt change lecturer learn a bit. say worthwhile or not? quite lah. but not worth $40 me thinks. hmmm. After tt ate lunch at bishan foodcourt then went home.
4/6/06 sunday
Yesterday when i reached home i read finish midori days 3. Then i fell asleep. Thne i woke up to eat dinner. Then i fell asleep. Then i woke up to brush teeth. Then i went back to sleep. Then i woke up this morning to eat lunch. Then i fell asleep again. Then i woke up tor ead book at 6pm + then eat dinner. Then i went back to sleep until monday. God i feel like a pig.
5/6/06 monday
Had mock stats maths test today. i thought it started at 8.30. but i overslept so reached school at 8.55. Turns out tt e paper started at 8am & reporting time was at 7.45! OMGGGGG!! Then i enjoyed a lazy afternoon drawing and playing with edward and resurected cey and listened to john mayer over n over n over n over n over and over and over again and again and again....
6/6/06 tuesday
OMG! today is dooms day! or so called dooms day! Had physics lecture today. I was late (as usual) but ang was even later (as usual) so wasnt late at all! ^^ After tt went shopping at orchard with dina. explored whole of far east level 3. Omg it took us from 4+ to 8.30 pm to cover everything! Bought so many things im brokeee!! ahhh!! ~ shopaholic
7/6/06 wednesday
i had flag day this morning. ^^ its crazy lah! went for chem tutorial half way through! e whole flagdayers from our clz just disappeared 1/2 way to go 4 lessons at ijc. funny xia. we were asking 4 donations 4m our clzmates during lessons~! oh ya! a BIG THANK YOU and *HUG* for all e kind souls tt donated to me, esp those ppl tt i know! ^^ After tt met up with dina and we went shopping at CWP. Dina got her new specs! She kept on commenting on how clear the world suddenly was. funny xia!
8/6/06 thursday
Today supposed to have maths rememdial and chem rememdial tt clashed so ended up supposed to go 4 maths only but i had headache in e morning so theoretically i poned both lessons. Heard tt e pure maths mock test was a killer. After tt went with eunice, nisha and dina4 SHOPPING again at orchard! im an absolute shopaholic! great singapore sale rocks! but very sad coz we spent too much time eating, and deciding where to eat, tt we never buy any clothes at all coz when we started shopping, shops started closing! SAD! on e way home we ran into shunfa. interesting. lol. after tt 11pm had conference about our eastcoast outing tts upcoming. so exciting! nisha u movie holic! x men more impt than us hor? XP
Who actually knows me for me really? Who am i really? Sharp as a knife, grumpy as hell, Bitchy as i please, Blur Sleepy JC student, Gossipy, shopaholic, happy go lucky, little dreamer, Jap fanatic, Lost little girl, needy girlfriend, comforting friend, Headstrong enemy, Contented artist, backporch poet, lovesick musician, painfully quiet and shy student, outgoing and chirpy OGL, good natured anything person, which facade of me is real? Is any of it real at all? Who knows the real me for me?
Forever the backyard porch poet, with the book of rymes, always open, knowing all the time im probably, never going to find the perfect line
For heavier things
Today i went studying with kenneth at woodlands libary after going out with dad in e morning. Thanks bro 4 e "ans sheet" ^^ When we were leaving we saw a really sad sight. OMG, what is the world coming to?
A little girl stood staring at the fountain or water sprouting out of the black hole of nothingness. Her head was cocked to one side, as if she stood marvling at the mystical wonder of the origin of the water. Then she raised her foot, and stomped on the sprout of water, as if it was a pesky bug, stomping so hard with such great force as if it was a living thing that's lifesource she wanted to extinguish.
Kenneth laughed and pointed. "thats the new sort of dictatorship this worlds' gonna get. 'Go down! i command you to go down!' *laughs manically*"
Lotsa backdating. Ya i know it;s been long but ivh been REALLY REALLY REALLY busy
2/6/06 friday
Had chemistry lecture After tt went to dina's house with amy, mf, to stone until JCS camp.
At dina's house we all got assulted by meifeng. And i think everyone needed a good dose of superglue after tt. Meifeng, i tt nice to sit on meh? O_O
JCS camp was soooooo fun! but long story and hard to describe. Very very long story. ALl i can say is tt it was damn fun and more like a chalet than anything else! we played cards e whole night and listened to music and ate chips and drank soft drinks and celebrated yihao's birthday and did stupid forefits and played with sparklers and went to rooftop and kena sprayed by shunfa with his water gun and didnt sleep a wink all night....
3/6/06 sat
2nd day of jcs camp. We lay on e stadium and stared at e clouds. so nice. ^^ sushiboy is actually quite a nice person. alth he act quite gay sometimes and talk alot. But actually he's not bad lah. he actually cleaned up while everyone was out like a light! n he's a malaysian. not tt ttt = good or tt im biased against tt. haha. After tt we went for 3d animation course at bishan cc. Erm. BLUR. first 1 hour didnt understand anything. The lecturer was VERY NICE but his accent was VERY THICK didnt understand a thing he said + our sleepyness = gone case never learn. After tt change lecturer learn a bit. say worthwhile or not? quite lah. but not worth $40 me thinks. hmmm. After tt ate lunch at bishan foodcourt then went home.
4/6/06 sunday
Yesterday when i reached home i read finish midori days 3. Then i fell asleep. Thne i woke up to eat dinner. Then i fell asleep. Then i woke up to brush teeth. Then i went back to sleep. Then i woke up this morning to eat lunch. Then i fell asleep again. Then i woke up tor ead book at 6pm + then eat dinner. Then i went back to sleep until monday. God i feel like a pig.
5/6/06 monday
Had mock stats maths test today. i thought it started at 8.30. but i overslept so reached school at 8.55. Turns out tt e paper started at 8am & reporting time was at 7.45! OMGGGGG!! Then i enjoyed a lazy afternoon drawing and playing with edward and resurected cey and listened to john mayer over n over n over n over n over and over and over again and again and again....
6/6/06 tuesday
OMG! today is dooms day! or so called dooms day! Had physics lecture today. I was late (as usual) but ang was even later (as usual) so wasnt late at all! ^^ After tt went shopping at orchard with dina. explored whole of far east level 3. Omg it took us from 4+ to 8.30 pm to cover everything! Bought so many things im brokeee!! ahhh!! ~ shopaholic
7/6/06 wednesday
i had flag day this morning. ^^ its crazy lah! went for chem tutorial half way through! e whole flagdayers from our clz just disappeared 1/2 way to go 4 lessons at ijc. funny xia. we were asking 4 donations 4m our clzmates during lessons~! oh ya! a BIG THANK YOU and *HUG* for all e kind souls tt donated to me, esp those ppl tt i know! ^^ After tt met up with dina and we went shopping at CWP. Dina got her new specs! She kept on commenting on how clear the world suddenly was. funny xia!
8/6/06 thursday
Today supposed to have maths rememdial and chem rememdial tt clashed so ended up supposed to go 4 maths only but i had headache in e morning so theoretically i poned both lessons. Heard tt e pure maths mock test was a killer. After tt went with eunice, nisha and dina4 SHOPPING again at orchard! im an absolute shopaholic! great singapore sale rocks! but very sad coz we spent too much time eating, and deciding where to eat, tt we never buy any clothes at all coz when we started shopping, shops started closing! SAD! on e way home we ran into shunfa. interesting. lol. after tt 11pm had conference about our eastcoast outing tts upcoming. so exciting! nisha u movie holic! x men more impt than us hor? XP
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