how can I best describe the differences between the 3 races descriptively to my kid
without sounding insulting?
here goes..
Is are like dark luxurious chocolate
Ms are like milk chocolate
Cs are like white chocolate. (it's true, white chocolate are quite yellowish too)
now.. I have ran out of types of chocolate for the rest.. aka the Ang mos.. hmmm..
ray ray love~~~
Saturday, November 24, 2012
GTFOML
sometimes I really wish that I don't have you as my mum
sometimes I really wish that I could move on from this phase in my life and leave you behind
sometimes I just wish that you were normal like everyone else and I wallow in my misery
sometimes I really wish that I could move on from this phase in my life and leave you behind
sometimes I just wish that you were normal like everyone else and I wallow in my misery
Monday, November 05, 2012
proper apologies
proper apologies have 3 parts
1) what I did was wrong
2) I feel badly that I hurt you
3) how do I make this better?
1) what I did was wrong
2) I feel badly that I hurt you
3) how do I make this better?
Saturday, November 03, 2012
if even you don't care, who will
they say that in order to truly care for the person
you need to know them thoroughly
you don't know me
it's just a facade
if even you don't know me
you can't care about me
and if even you can't care about me
then who will
do you really care about me
or are you just trying to fit me into your retirement dream
am I just the fallback plan
all my life ivh just wanted a happy family
I remember staying up late waiting for dad to come home
and when he came home I had already fallen asleep
when I woke up and jumped around him wanting to go out
like a log he would continue to slumber
but when he did wake up it was like magic
the broadest shoulders were like
the best amusement park ride in the world
the most entertaining conversations
the most patient tutor
the warmest hands the safest grip
and the knowledge that you would never let me slip
you never lost me or left be behind
you were really my super hero figure
of course there's always two sides to every coin
your drunk abusiveness
however it was always so easy to dissociate the two
and tell myself that it's not the same person
it can't be
I would just close my eyes and weep and wait for my real dad to come home
perhaps it was just a father figure i was looking for
why did you leave me
why did you leave me
standing alone over there
why did you let me let go of your hand
were you captivated by another
as I was at that point in time
I had always cast the blame on myself in the beginning
I shouldn't have let go
but really
did I let go
or did you let go of mine
was it really a lack of conscientiousness
whose really to blame
or was it your sadistic evil inner being
just wanting to see my tormented face
absolutely terrified
not wanting to be left behind
tearing through the aisles
tearing as i ran frantically
screaming inside my head
"mummy where are you. why did you leave me behind again"
today when I saw the little girl crying on the train. and the aunties on the train saying that dads aren't so conscientious that's why he lost his kid, unlike the mums who would always hold tightly on to their kids
it really brought me back to when i always carried 10c to make phone calls
just incase you left me alone again
why did u always leave me behind?
standing alone over there
why did you let me let go of your hand
were you captivated by another
as I was at that point in time
I had always cast the blame on myself in the beginning
I shouldn't have let go
but really
did I let go
or did you let go of mine
was it really a lack of conscientiousness
whose really to blame
or was it your sadistic evil inner being
just wanting to see my tormented face
absolutely terrified
not wanting to be left behind
tearing through the aisles
tearing as i ran frantically
screaming inside my head
"mummy where are you. why did you leave me behind again"
today when I saw the little girl crying on the train. and the aunties on the train saying that dads aren't so conscientious that's why he lost his kid, unlike the mums who would always hold tightly on to their kids
it really brought me back to when i always carried 10c to make phone calls
just incase you left me alone again
why did u always leave me behind?
unrelinquished dreams
ivh always wanted to go to the NATIONAL LIBRARY OF SINGAPORE when I was a kid
ivh always envisioned standing surrounded by towering bookcases
and the wonderful musty smell of knowledge
when they tore it down I was nonchalant but devastated at the same time
I'll never get to fulfill this childhood dream of mine
nothing but an unrelinquished dream
ivh always envisioned standing surrounded by towering bookcases
and the wonderful musty smell of knowledge
when they tore it down I was nonchalant but devastated at the same time
I'll never get to fulfill this childhood dream of mine
nothing but an unrelinquished dream
losing my identity
recently
life has become so surreal its like a dream
or my dreams are becoming so real they feel like memories
I'm starting to have difficulty telling the two apart sometimes
it's like I get small little flashbacks of things I so vivid it feels like a memory
like I walked past guardian and I saw the shaving advertisement and I remembered very vividly staring at a guy whose hair seemed to have roots all the the way down to the bottom of his neck
they were sparse, brown and curled out like a horse's main
and I thought. hey that guy he definitely needs this shaving product
but then I stop to think again.
who is he? where and when did I stare at the back of his neck.
its a blank in my mind.
it's so baffling. the denseness of the cloud veiling this memory is akin to how when you have a really vivid dream and you wake up
all of it suddenly dissipates.
and you can barely remember fragments of it
was he real or was it a dream?
did I know him or was he someone I stared at on the mrt train because of his interesting hair?
and like the reason why my dad leaves the group chat organized by my relatives the instant they invite him
I can't remember the reason
I knew it
but it's the same dense cloudy sensation again
but when I think back on my memories
I never saw him angry or unhappy at them
did I dream of the reason?
was the dream the truth?
if memories are what makes people unique
an I losing my identity?
life has become so surreal its like a dream
or my dreams are becoming so real they feel like memories
I'm starting to have difficulty telling the two apart sometimes
it's like I get small little flashbacks of things I so vivid it feels like a memory
like I walked past guardian and I saw the shaving advertisement and I remembered very vividly staring at a guy whose hair seemed to have roots all the the way down to the bottom of his neck
they were sparse, brown and curled out like a horse's main
and I thought. hey that guy he definitely needs this shaving product
but then I stop to think again.
who is he? where and when did I stare at the back of his neck.
its a blank in my mind.
it's so baffling. the denseness of the cloud veiling this memory is akin to how when you have a really vivid dream and you wake up
all of it suddenly dissipates.
and you can barely remember fragments of it
was he real or was it a dream?
did I know him or was he someone I stared at on the mrt train because of his interesting hair?
and like the reason why my dad leaves the group chat organized by my relatives the instant they invite him
I can't remember the reason
I knew it
but it's the same dense cloudy sensation again
but when I think back on my memories
I never saw him angry or unhappy at them
did I dream of the reason?
was the dream the truth?
if memories are what makes people unique
an I losing my identity?
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