if even you don't care, who will

they say that in order to truly care for the person
you need to know them thoroughly
you don't know me
it's just a facade

if even you don't know me
you can't care about me
and if even you can't care about me
then who will

do you really care about me
or are you just trying to fit me into your retirement dream
am I just the fallback plan

all my life ivh just wanted a happy family
I remember staying up late waiting for dad to come home
and when he came home I had already fallen asleep

when I woke up and jumped around him wanting to go out
like a log he would continue to slumber
but when he did wake up it was like magic
the broadest shoulders were like
the best amusement park ride in the world
the most entertaining conversations
the most patient tutor
the warmest hands the safest grip
and the knowledge that you would never let me slip
you never lost me or left be behind

you were really my super hero figure

of course there's always two sides to every coin

your drunk abusiveness

however it was always so easy to dissociate the two

and tell myself that it's not the same person

it can't be

I would just close my eyes and weep and wait for my real dad to come home



perhaps it was just a father figure i was looking for

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