losing my identity

recently
life has become so surreal its like a dream
or my dreams are becoming so real they feel like memories
I'm starting to have difficulty telling the two apart sometimes
it's like I get small little flashbacks of things I so vivid it feels like a memory
like I walked past guardian and I saw the shaving advertisement and I remembered very vividly staring at a guy whose hair seemed to have roots all the the way down to the bottom of his neck
they were sparse, brown and curled out like a horse's main
and I thought. hey that guy he definitely needs this shaving product
but then I stop to think again.
who is he? where and when did I stare at the back of his neck.
its a blank in my mind.
it's so baffling. the denseness of the cloud veiling this memory is akin to how when you have a really vivid dream and you wake up
all of it suddenly dissipates.
and you can barely remember fragments of it
was he real or was it a dream?
did I know him or was he someone I stared at on the mrt train because of his interesting hair?
and like the reason why my dad leaves the group chat organized by my relatives the instant they invite him
I can't remember the reason
I knew it
but it's the same dense cloudy sensation again
but when I think back on my memories
I never saw him angry or unhappy at them
did I dream of the reason?
was the dream the truth?


if memories are what makes people unique
an I losing my identity?

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