why are you so mad?

its none of your business so get lost

yes but im curious

its everything so shut up! everything! everything pisses me off!
those people.. those people! and them!.. and you too! everything, absolutely everyone, i hate them all!

They treat people like garbage,

when its them who are the trash

even though there's nothing special about them!

it would be better if everyone of you would just die! die! die! go to hell! disappear! go break down!

but you want them to care about you right? you want them to turn around and notice you right?

These people.. you want to be given a purpose right?

you want them to listen to you.. to understand you.. to react to you..

you want to be loved right?

that is the way i am...

The thing i want to ask myself most is... how did i get this way.. did i make a wrong turn somewhere? was i wrong about something? im sad.. im lonely.. to other people.. i wanted to be somebody who could be loved and is loved.. but still this is the only person i could become..

Then i realised.. no matter what time it is.. im still such a foolish person.. no matter what i was never lost.. i just couldnt find my answer..

The world doesnt need me.. i will.. for the people who need me.. carry living on..

I read this off somewhere..

no wonder i burst into tears when kim talked to me about mapp.. i feel so silly for having done so.. its just that i felt as if for the first time on earth.. somebody really understood how i felt.. somebody else was like me.. i wondered for a bit.. if he was the same kind of person i was.. that he had gone through the same thing i did.. i had hope that there would be some kind of end.. a happy one.. to this devastation..