I was reading my old blog...

I had a secret blog.. before this one XD

nope im not telling you the address unless you kneel down and beg me to or sth...

but its fun to re-read.. coz i realised that i was really.. kind of.. naive or sth..

like.. quote " in one of the dreams you came to me and asked me how i was. i told you tearfully that i'm happy, always have been, always will be, until you came. in my dream i asked you to leave. "

and i re-read about happy memories about pa" 19/3/2006 -me&pa met for lunch at cck then we went west coast 4 fun in e sun! so sad turned out tt got no beach. haiz. we sat on the pyramid thinge e whole day. pa really can socialise with the kids. he sure will make a brilliant kindergarden teacher or salesman in e future.. all e grandma's & kids will love him! haha. had dinner at the jap thinge at JE."

and my exciting cycling trip with shunfa.. "13/3 -me & sF went cycling EXPLORING woodlands. went from woodlands--> marsling--> causeway --> m'sian beach --> admarildty avenue -->highway looking road --> prison --> strange houses tt we agreed must be where the business men re hiding their indonesian wives --> more highway -->industrial estate --> somewhat lost (headed for nearest but UNFAMILIAR hdb flats), then BAM! somehow ended up in ... --> SEMBAWANG! opposite a painted riverside sec school --> sunplaza 2 rest --> 7-eleven to drink --> toilet to wash up --> cc to just see see --> cinema to stare at posters --> arcade to play --> buy drink at 7 eleven -->cycling again --> back to wdl --> horseshoe --> sit n stare at e full moon and e stars at e end of the fork --> toilet break at vistapoint --> woodgrove 4 supper (prata) -->home. FUN! ^^"

and exciting food escapades with jy" 11/4 : tuesday. today i had dinner with JY at cwp. after school i was so happy! we literally ran out of the place! went to the fiesta convert to ??? to eat udon. they have this special offer in wich you an eat meals complete with green tea and hand roll + $1 desert for $5 base amount. still havent count gst & service tax. but free flow of drinks! ^^ the whole bill cost 13.90, cheaper then anytime i have even eaten there, just my portion tt kind of thing! so cheap!!! (e whole night he dun let me sleep want to settle when tt kind of thing. like so despo like tt. haiz.)"

and the CUTE JC1 GUY THAT WAS MY EYECANDY!! "13/4 : thursday! hz birthday! came early withe s uper big card! got everyone to sign it & passed it & e presents to her! hope she likes em! i drew e card last nite, but i dont think she knows im e one who did e card. nvm its from everyone so it doesnt realy matter. when signing it, the DAMN CUTE J1 GUY!! AHH!! i know that is locker is same area as mine! then very funny coz jy was signing hte card then seh say sth stupid he look into his locker n laugh. damn cute lah!"

and how dina never talks enough "15/4 : sat. this morning i went running with dina! intersting! & nice! coz run slowly just chat all e way.. just wished tt i could run longer. after think 6 very slow rounds.. think italk too much sometimes.. want to poke her tell her to talk but she never talk so i just blab on n on ,....."

and the "G'd OLD IJC days" Her return reminded me of 1st 3 months n why i really loved it here in IJC back then. It was so cozy and warm like a huge big family. Best of all there were no snobs. ahh. the good old days. Then this silly song

I'm a model you know what I meanAnd I do my little turn on the catwalkYeah on the catwalk on the catwalk yeahI do my little turn on the catwalk. I'm too sexy for my love too sexy for my loveLove's going to leave meI'm too sexy for my shirt too sexy for my shirt So sexy it hurts My shirts gonna leave me

Then i thought of campfire night with the "hot guys" sent outside 4 manhunt n then they walk back in shirtless n do "interesting poses" so tt we could see who had the most armpit hair and clap accordingly! So hilarious! i still remember the "cutest" guy, had no hair at all! then when they sent him off the stage he looked kind of hurt until his friend told him what they were judging by. God, was he glad then! :p

and my sadder memories and the never ending dreams"you left and i was lonely but when you asked i wanted to say no. because i really like my life the way it is right now and its such a hassle. "

and my lifetime resolution -->resolution

i love edward, limey, friends n family. have to be more filiay a child. help out around the house. play less. study more. call grandpartents to give respect. be a better friend. study harder. laugh a little more, smile a little more, spread joy. read more, broaden knowledge. spend less, save more, study really really hard. study really really hard. theres so many things, so beautiful in this world to live for. i really love my life at this moment. but when this moment passes, what will life be like in the next moment? i believe that only you can control your own future so i resolbe to make it e best future possible. i want to be happy n life life w/o regrets. have to study! realy really really really hard! give it 210%! coz i wana go U, n stay in a dorm n all thatz! then ill earn points to stay through running 4 e house! i wana learn how to drive, play a musical instrument, get a good job n all that! maybe someday ill get marriend n have kids n settle down.

i realized that i accomplished everything, except for the last 3, which is job, marriage and kids.. I think i need to have a bigger goal in life :D

and the last memory

"will i really only live till 25 years as the fortune teller told me in my dream? some of my dreams come true, but not all do. i hope that this one doesnt, and this beautufl dream that my life currently is never ends. but all things have to end, no matter how beautiful, no matter how tightly we may grasp on to them, no matter how hard we wish or long with all our hear that they wont, sometime, someday.......

~ and i wont wait to find if this will last forever, coz it wont, coz it wont, coz it cant. it just cant."

those were the days.. where everyday had something different and exciting happening..

wad happened to my life man!

almost going to hit 23 years old, and still going strong! bad dreams, dont play me out! im going to outlive you! because now i have a life goal, which i have to achieve before i reach 35!

wait before i get ahead of my self again, take a look at dina's 2005 blog entries.. those are really old school manz!