Today, I resolved a conflict successfully!

So proud of myself!

I learnt, that sometimes, such issues you should leave like 24 day hours for the person to think things through in his head, before sending out an email. :D

and I need 24 day hours to think through my email before sending it out too!

and that sometimes, you really need to call the person to resolve it!

here's my email!

eunice, thanks for your advice on what to say to him! :D I realised the power of being "magnanimous " and making him guilty for his actions! u r damn zhai!!!

and guy in conflict, im really glad that you actually called to apologise! you really gained my respect when you called to apologise, and when you had so many things to say! I realised that you really have been reflecting on this issue!

and im proud of myself, that I didn't step away from conflict, but i tried my best to resolve it! I really learnt much, and i feel that he has learnt much too!

thanks fafa! :D

Dear Jonathan,

I hope that you can understand that the main dispute is between you and Shawn. I also do not see why you need to drag me into the issue. I have already clearly told my OGL, even though the transfer isn't possible, I still want to go ahead and attend this camp.

More importantly, I also hope you can understand what is wrong with this situation. Honestly, I feel that you have let your emotions get the better of you, and created a situation which should not have occurred in the first place.

The dispute started, not when he tried to switch groups, but could not, and decided to withdraw instead. He actually had the courtesy to thank you for allowing him to withdraw. Instead, it started when you had to accuse him unfairly in an sms, so naturally he has to defend himself. I do not see why you have to reprimand people for withdrawing. Professionally speaking, we are all mature adults, and there is no need to reprimand others for their decision. He was simply trying his luck, to switch groups, if possible. Was it so wrong to make his request? I understand that you might have taken offence at his untactful phrasing. I apologize on his behalf if you did. However, isn't it much better that people tell you tactless truth, rather then the sugar coated lie you want to hear?

More importantly, we should be magnanimous people, and understand that there are many other factors that has affected the people's final decision, which we, on the receiving end are simply unaware of. Additionally, as we are neither kin nor kith to him, Shawn does not face any obligation to explicitly explain his situation to you, so that you can understand his disposition. I believe that Shawn has clearly, and carefully considered the pros and cons of his decision, and weighted the consequences before making his request.Thus it is extremely unfair, and hurtful for you to judge him based on the small interactions you have had. Any human being with feelings, would of course would feel insulted by what you have said in your sms to him, and take action, to defend himself. Thus I hope that you can be understanding, and see things from other people's perspective. I hope that in the future, you will not let small issues like this, get to you, and undermine your professionalism. The whole incident should have ended from his "thank you" sms.

This fact that other factors have played a part in his decision, can be inferred from how although we are not able to be in the same group, I am still willing to go ahead with the camp. If it was solely due to how we wanted to be in the same group, both of us would have dropped out, the moment you disallowed us to be in the same group. Thus I hope that you can look beyond what the situation appears to be, and understand that it is more that what it seems to be, and that there are other factors involved. I hope that you will not be so quick to judge people in the future.

I would just like to input a point in defense of my good friend, as I am sure that you should understand that it is important to stand up for your friend, when you feel that they have been wronged by others. I understand that you say that it's randomness "5. Likewise, our current decision is actually fairness for you as well. The idea of randomness for volunteers in group, so that if even our own friends joined the camp, we wouldn't have paired them into the same group on purpose." However, I do not understand why you truly need this concept of "randomness". I would understand this concept, if this was a camp to make new friends. However, like what you stated, the purpose of this camp is to help the less fortunate, and the intellectually disabled?

Thus, let me ask you a question. Doesn't your own organizing committee consist of groups of friends, being in the same department? Don't you want to be in a committee where you at least know 1 other person, so that you wont be so awkward and shy, and can perform better at your position? Don't you, yourself hate it when lecturers say that project groups need to be random,when you personally feel that you can deliver your best when you are allowed to work with people you know to achieve an important target? I believe that by working with people that i know in the same group, we will be able to help the people with special needs to the best of our abilities. Isn't that the most important point of this whole camp? Helping the less fortunate to the best of our abilities? Rationally speaking, shouldn't you organize the camp such that we can best help these special needs people? I understand that you might say that it is very difficult to swap groups, but I cant help but wonder, why do you let administrative complications, hamper your true intentions of helping others? But I hope that we can put this group swapping issue aside, it is not as important as the problem at hand here, and is already resolved, as Shawn has decided withdraw from the camp.

Lastly, I have noted all of your other points, and I do understand where you are coming from. Of course we have all along understood where you were coming from, when you said no about transferring groups, which is why Shawn did not pursue the issue, and just said thank you when you declined his swap, and decided to withdraw instead. Thus, we do not see the need for this email. Infact, we are quite hurt, that you see the need to send this kind of emails,and messages.

Finally, we had wanted to raise the issue to you earlier, but there was no avenue, as the Google docs did not give us any fields, neither were we able to attend the briefing, so we had no idea that there would be orientation groups. We had thought that this camp, would have been like the other CIP camps, where there was no need for orientation groups, but still everyone had tons of fun. I do admit that it was our fault for not clarifying this issue about orientation groups earlier, but as there as there was no details, we did not know what to expect, or what to request for until we received that fateful call from our"ogls".

Thus, the purpose of this email, is to let you understand where Shawn is coming from as I hope that you will not mis-understand the intentions of this very good friend of mine. Thus I sincerely hope that you can understand where we are coming from as well.

Lets not let this small issue affect the running of your camp, and our ability to help the less fortunate.

I sincerely hope that we can put aside this issue, and not let it affect our working relationship. Thus, I hope that we can get along well at the camp, and I look forward to meeting you, and working together with you during the actual camp, as I am very keen on helping the intellectually disabled.

If there are any aspects of this email that you dissatisfied about, or there is any further misunderstanding, do not hesitate to call me at ________, so that I can clarify the matter. I hope that we can start the camp on the right foot.

Yours sincerely,

Kimberlyn